South Park

South Park Quotes (Page 5)

Season 16 Episode 6: "I Should Have Never Gone Ziplining"

Kyle: It was like having the life sucked out of you. That's all it is, sliding down a cable.
 • Rating: 2.0 / 5.0

Narrator: Just the word shuttle makes Kyle's brain fire neurons that bring up memories of just how lame shuttles can be.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Stan: It was 10, maybe 15 minutes of pure hell.
 • Rating: 1.0 / 5.0

Narrator: Inside Kyle's mouth, the muscles contract to force a smile, even though in his brain, Kyle is thinking, "dude, f**k you."
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Narrator: The average human acts a certain way when surrounded by friends and family. But in a tour group, the brain has to work overtime, acting nice and pretending to care about people on the tour.
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: Cold sore is what girls call it, Kenny. It's actually herpes.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Narrator: For four elementary school boys, an ordinary day becomes a descent into madness on "I Should Have Never Gone Ziplining."
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 16 Episode 5: "Butterballs"

Dr. Oz: We all know that bullying is an epidemic. Like AIDS, bullying is escalating and is spread mostly by penises.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Stephen Stotch: Oh, well don't fart on grandma, she's trying to enjoy her ham.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Stephen Stotch: Our Linda certainly does know her way around a pork.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kyle: Just be careful you don't end up naked and jackin' it in San Diego.
Stan: What the hell does that mean?
 • Rating: Unrated

Kyle: You're gonna stop bullying. With Cartman singing about his vagina.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Bucky Bailey: You may only have an internet degree, but why don't you start acting like a real school counselor, and not a backwoods little dork, mmkay?
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Cartman: I have balls.
Red: Yeah, little swishy boba tea balls.
Cartman: Still balls.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Stan: Dude, did a bully take your lunch money again week?
Butters: Yeah.
Stan: That's the third day in a row, you gotta tell a teacher.
Butters: Nah, I'm not a tattle-tale.
Stan: Then write the principal an anonymous letter.
Butters: Nah, I'm not an Anonymous Andy.
Clyde: So just get a bigger bully to beat the bully up.
Butters: Nah, I don't want kids calling me kids calling me a cliche conflict resolution Kevin.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cartman: No no no, I'm telling you guys, music videos have devolved to nothing but pretty girls, wearing skintight clothes, singing about their vajayjay. Used to be chicks talking about relationships, now it's all my vajayjay this, my vajayjay that. But clearly that's what sells.
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Season 16 Episode 4: "Jewpacabra"

Cartman: So God makes it rain frogs? That just seems kind of mean to frogs, Kyle!
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Mr. Billings: Hello young man. Let me off start off by saying Sooper Foods is absolutely not an anti-Semitic company. But, if your people do have a monster creature that feeds on Easter children, we just wanted to let you know that there's a sacrifice for it in the park that is totally fun and safe to eat. Thank you.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mr. Billings: Our entire business is based on fun and safety!
Cartman: This isn't safe or fun!
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: Those cryptozoologists don't know what they're talking about. They just gave me a case of the Hebrew-jeebies, that's all
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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