South Park

Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy Central
South park
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Jesus did not suffer for our sins, he was in fact very high.

Drug Investigator

You know I spent five bucks on that stupid thing?

Cartman

I don't know what to believe in any more, mmkay!

Mr. Mackey

Sergeant Yates: How many people at the Monster Mash?
Officer 1: Most of the town, sir. It's a graveyard smash.
Officer 2: Whatever we do, we better hurry, sir, it's on in a flash.

CARTMAN SMASH!

Cartman

It's Stan's stupid Captain America costume, that's what throwing everybody off! How's people supposed to get that I'm the Hulk when Captain America is on freaking FaceTime?

Cartman

Person: Oh, wow! Look honey, it's Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, and Bruce Vilanch!
Cartman: I'm not Bruce Vilanch!
Person: Oh, what are you supposed to be? Oh right, you're supposed to be that uh, uh..
Cartman: The Incredible...
Person: Oh, The Incredible Chaz Bono!

Stan: My dad is kinda losing it. To be honest, I feel kinda bad for him.
Randy: Stan, get off the damn phone, people are gonna start calling to reserve movies, gah!
Stan: Oh never mind, I hate him again.

Renting DVDs is more ancient than Madonna's boobs!

Stan

Stan: I think something might be wrong with dad.
Sharon: Duh, you think?

Don't mind Randy, he's just losing his mind, durrrrrrr!

Randy

Oh, I get it. Video stores are so old, they have ghosts in them. Okay, thanks, I get it!

Randy
Displaying quotes 49 - 60 of 1515 in total

South Park Quotes

It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a woman's separation, this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation.

</i> Cartman

James Cameron doesn't do what James Cameron does for James Cameron. James Cameron does what James Cameron does because James Cameron is James Cameron!

James Cameron