South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralSouth Park Quotes
Jesus did not suffer for our sins, he was in fact very high.
Drug Investigator
You know I spent five bucks on that stupid thing?
Cartman
I don't know what to believe in any more, mmkay!
Mr. Mackey
Sergeant Yates: How many people at the Monster Mash?
Officer 1: Most of the town, sir. It's a graveyard smash.
Officer 2: Whatever we do, we better hurry, sir, it's on in a flash.
CARTMAN SMASH!
Cartman
It's Stan's stupid Captain America costume, that's what throwing everybody off! How's people supposed to get that I'm the Hulk when Captain America is on freaking FaceTime?
Cartman
Person: Oh, wow! Look honey, it's Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, and Bruce Vilanch!
Cartman: I'm not Bruce Vilanch!
Person: Oh, what are you supposed to be? Oh right, you're supposed to be that uh, uh..
Cartman: The Incredible...
Person: Oh, The Incredible Chaz Bono!
Stan: My dad is kinda losing it. To be honest, I feel kinda bad for him.
Randy: Stan, get off the damn phone, people are gonna start calling to reserve movies, gah!
Stan: Oh never mind, I hate him again.
Renting DVDs is more ancient than Madonna's boobs!
Stan
Stan: I think something might be wrong with dad.
Sharon: Duh, you think?
Don't mind Randy, he's just losing his mind, durrrrrrr!
Randy
Oh, I get it. Video stores are so old, they have ghosts in them. Okay, thanks, I get it!
Randy