Jesus did not suffer for our sins, he was in fact very high.

Drug Investigator

You know I spent five bucks on that stupid thing?


I don't know what to believe in any more, mmkay!

Mr. Mackey

Sergeant Yates: How many people at the Monster Mash?
Officer 1: Most of the town, sir. It's a graveyard smash.
Officer 2: Whatever we do, we better hurry, sir, it's on in a flash.



It's Stan's stupid Captain America costume, that's what throwing everybody off! How's people supposed to get that I'm the Hulk when Captain America is on freaking FaceTime?


Person: Oh, wow! Look honey, it's Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, and Bruce Vilanch!
Cartman: I'm not Bruce Vilanch!
Person: Oh, what are you supposed to be? Oh right, you're supposed to be that uh, uh..
Cartman: The Incredible...
Person: Oh, The Incredible Chaz Bono!

Stan: My dad is kinda losing it. To be honest, I feel kinda bad for him.
Randy: Stan, get off the damn phone, people are gonna start calling to reserve movies, gah!
Stan: Oh never mind, I hate him again.

Renting DVDs is more ancient than Madonna's boobs!


Stan: I think something might be wrong with dad.
Sharon: Duh, you think?

Don't mind Randy, he's just losing his mind, durrrrrrr!


Oh, I get it. Video stores are so old, they have ghosts in them. Okay, thanks, I get it!


South Park Quotes

Chinpokomon Executive: You are American.
South Park Toy Store Owner: Yes.
Chinpokomon Executive: Ohhh, you must have very big penis!
South Park Toy Store Owner: Excuse me, I was just asking you what your up to with these toys.
Chinpokomon Executive: Nothing, we are very simple people with very small penis. Mr. Hosik's penis is especially small!
Mr. Hosik: So small.
Chinpokomon Executive: We cannot achieve so much with such small penis, but you American wow, penis so big, so big penis!
South Park Toy Store Owner: Well aah I guess it is pretty good size.

James Cameron doesn't do what James Cameron does for James Cameron. James Cameron does what James Cameron does because James Cameron is James Cameron!

James Cameron