South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralSouth Park Quotes
I hate this damn town, everyday things just keep getting weirder around here and I'm just about sick of it!
UPS Guy
Old Man: Didn't kill him, did ya? Nah, I didn't think ya had it in ya.
Randy: We scared him, we thought it'd be enough!
Old Man: Milk man don't get scared, not with free pussy at every doorstep.
Kyle: The Jewish population isn't dying out, fatass, it's growing!
Cartman: What?
Marcus: This is Marcus with InSecurity, is everything alright?
Cartman: Yeah, I just heard some troubling news and it set off my InSecurity.
Sergeant Yates: I know you're all worried about your family's security. All I can tell you is that so far Bane has not been caught.
Mr. Mackey: What are we supposed to do? I mean, if Bane is out there on the loose, then none of us are safe. And one Bane's bad enough, but apparently we've got like, like seven Banes, mmkay?
Yeah, sure, because people just order stuff from Amazon and forget what they got.
Randy Marsh
Sure, you had your nice cold milk delivered right to your doorstep, but your wife was getting pounded out like a mallard duck. And now you've got the Amazon, and the milk man's coming back. And none of ya is safe.
Old Man
Somebody who would have sex with Kyle's mom would have sex with just about anything!
Stephen Stotch
Kyle: How can you sit there and collect money on a show about a fat child killing himself? Where's your sense of shame?
Token: I can remember exactly where I was the first time I saw Honey Boo Boo. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. A shameful, fat family eating white-trash food, to their deaths? And then I saw what network it was on: The Learning Channel. If they can feel okay about that, why can't I?
James Cameron doesn't do what James Cameron does for James Cameron. James Cameron does what James Cameron does because James Cameron is James Cameron!
James Cameron
Kyle: I've been thinking. How did shamelessness get to this? Did it start with fat people on scooters? Or did it start way before that? And then I started thinking: maybe it was us. I don't know, but maybe somehow we lowered the bar, a long time ago, And now we're all sitting here, in the stink of it all. There's no going back, Stan.
I just hope when she does her pageants, the judges don't take away points because she's got a pig heart.
Honey Boo Boo's Mom
This is where the bar was just a few years ago. It was lowered here when President Clinton got a blowjob in the oval office, and suddenly men who were just getting blowjobs in alleyways thought they weren't all that bad.
James Cameron
