South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralSouth Park Quotes
Token: Kyle, I'm trying to make compelling television.
Kyle: You got Randy Newman to do the theme song, you're not trying that hard.
Then how do you explain all the fat people on mobility scooters? How do you account for...Honey Boo Boo? The bar has been lowered to depths we can't even fathom. If anyone can go down there and raise it back, it's me.
James Cameron
My name's Honey Boo Boo, and I'm a beauty queen, bitches!
Honey Boo Boo
I may be fat, but I'm not Honey Boo Boo!
Cartman
This is exactly what Adele is talking about! Our culture celebrates aneorexia, and makes us ashamed that we don't have slim stomachs, and perky little tits like Kyle!
Cartman
Coach Belichick says that 'there's no way we can beat the Broncos, they've had the same coach for almost a day!'
Reporter
Announcer: Oh, the referee is calling that a touchdown! Oh wait, now another official is signaling that's a safety!
Fan: Oh, nice job, replacement refs!
Announcer: They're gonna have to sort this one out with the side judge.
Side Judge: **** it, it's a ****ing field goal!
Fan 1: Nice job, Cee-Lo! Good to see you on TV some more!
Fan 2: Yeah, I'm a big fan of all your hit song!
As commissioner of the NFL, I am so thrilled to see our nation's youth embrace sarcastaball over traditional football. But oh, why stop there? Since football is *so barabaric*, we should change too! So let's give a big welcome to the new coach of the Denver Broncos, Randy Marsh!
Roger Goodell
Let's do this. Stan, hook up my bra.
Cartman
Yeah, let's do that! We've got an economy in the toilet, a big election coming up, but this country's #1 priority should be making football safer!
Randy
Stan: Dad, do we really have to wear bras?
Randy: Yeah, Stan, this is what people want! Don't worry, you look really cool!
