South Park Season 1 Quotes
Stan: You guys, I'm getting that John Elway football helmet for Christmas.
Cartman: How do you know?
Stan: 'Cause I looked in my parents' closet last night.
Cartman: Yeah, well I sneaked around my mum's closet too and saw what I'm getting. The Ultravibe Pleasure 2000.
Stan: What's that?
Cartman: I don't know but it sounds pretty sweet.
- Permalink: You guys, I'm getting that John Elway football helmet for Christ...
Chef: Say, where's Kyle?
Stan: We committed him?
Cartman: Cause he kept seeing this brown piece of Christmas Poo everywhere that he went.
Chef: Christmas Poo? You mean Mr. Hankey, right?
Stan: Uh oh.
- Permalink: Say, where's Kyle? We committed him? Why? Cause he kept se...
Mr. Garrison: It's not my fault you're raising him Pagan.
Mr. Garrison: Whatever.
- Permalink: It's not my fault you're raising him Pagan. Jewish! Whatever...
Sheila: You're upsetting the Jewish community!
Mr. Garrison: You are the Jewish community!
- Permalink: You're upsetting the Jewish community! You are the Jewish comm...
Mayor McDaniels: Are there any questions?
(Mr. Garrison raises hand)
Mayor McDaniels: Yes, Mr. Garrison?
Mr. Garrison: Can we get rid of all the Mexicans?
Mayor McDaniels: No, Mr. Garrison, we cannot get rid of all the Mexicans.
Mr. Garrison: Rats...
- Permalink: Are there any questions? (Mr. Garrison raises hand) Yes, Mr. ...
Alright, that does it. Screw you guys, I'm going home. Talking poo is where I draw the line.Cartman
- Permalink: Alright, that does it. Screw you guys, I'm going home. Talking p...
Sheila: How dare you include the Nativity in a school play? Don't you realize my son is Jewish?!
Mr. Garrison: ...So?
Sheila: So what makes you think he should play Joseph of Arimathea?
Mr. Garrison: Because it's Christmas?
- Permalink: How dare you include the Nativity in a school play? Don't you re...
Cartman: Oh dude! Kyle's mom is here to ruin Christmas!
Kyle: Shut up, fat boy!
Cartman: I'm not fat, I'm festively plump.
- Permalink: Oh dude! Kyle's mom is here to ruin Christmas! Shut up, fat bo...
Stan: Hey come on guys. We have to go to the mall and tell Santa Claus what we want for Christmas.
Cartman: Yeah. We'll see you later, Kyle. Guess there's no reason for you to come, since you don't get Christmas presents.
Kyle: No, but I get Channukah presents for eight days.
Cartman: Too bad it's usually a dreidel or something lame like that.
- Permalink: Hey come on guys. We have to go to the mall and tell Santa Claus...