South Park

South Park Season 14 Quotes (Page 4)

Season 14 Episode 6: "201"

Jesus: On the super best friend power cycles! (Segways)
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jesus (to Buddha): Watching porn isn't like doing coke you fag.
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Mr. Garrison: I'm sorry, Eric.
Cartman (as Mitch Connor): Sorry is a four letter word with a y on the end that doesn't mean anything to this kid.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 14 Episode 5: "200"

Stan: I made a promise to Jesus.
Randy: Stan, Jesus doesn't matter when Muhammad is involved.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Joseph Smith: Boys you need to understand that people get very offended when Muhammad is mocked because he's a religious figure.
Jesus: Buddha! Don't do coke in front of kids!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tom Cruise: Imagine it, Tim. No one could rip on you for all the rehashed movies you've made lately. There'd never be a TV show that pointed out you haven't had an original thought since Beetlejuice. And you put Johnny Depp and the same crappy music in every film. And if you're so in love with Johnny Depp you should just have sex with him already. No TV show could ever say that.
Tim Burton: Gee, that'd be swell.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tom Cruise: Jimmy buffet, how would you like it if no one could call your music drunken frat boy, monkey garbage?
Jimmy Buffet: I'd love it.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Detective: Dammit, Marsh. Why couldn't you have just kept your stupid, ugly kid in line?
Randy: Hey, don't start blaming me for his looks.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Butters: How come you're packing fudge, Mr. Cruise?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Stan: Hey guys look, Tom Cruise is a fudge packer.
 • Rating: 4.3 / 5.0

Season 14 Episode 4: "You Have 0 Friends"

Randy: Hey Stan, my computer says we're not friends anymore.
Stan: My Facebook profile went rogue, dad. Had to go into the circuitry and do battle with it. I sent all my friends somewhere else.
Randy: Okay, so we're not friends then?
Stan: F**k off dad.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cartman: This is the way the world works, if you want want to fine some quality friends you have to wade through all the d**ks fist.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kyle: I could really use a friend right now.
Stan: Okay dude, I'm here for you.
Kyle: Okay, then get on Facebook and fertilize my crops.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Stan: Are you doing that stupid Facebook stuff again?
Cartman: Stupid Facebook stuff...
Stan: Why are you guys in here wasting your time? We're supposed out playing video games.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 14 Episode 3: "Medicinal Fried Chicken"

Cartman: Does a bear crap in the woods and does the Pope crap on the dreams of 200 deaf boys?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Randy: I want you to look at me when we make love, and not just my balls.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cartman: Is that something I'd want to do? Is the Pope Catholic and making the world safe for pedophiles?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Randy: Look, I'm telling you guys, it's awesome. I can have all the pot I want. I get around faster than walking and wherever I need a seat, I can just sit on my balls.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cartman: You cutting the Colonel's gravy with Boston Market to try and save yourself some %@#%ing money!?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cartman: Do I want to do it? Does the pope help pedophiles get away with their crimes?
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

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