South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralSouth Park Season 14 Quotes
Next thing you know? Jersey party at the Sizzler.
Jersey Guy
Cartman: You know what you want to do if you want a family to move away? Every night you take a crap on their doorstep.
Kyle: Is that why there's crap on my doorstep every morning?
Cartman: Oops. Busted.
All people from Jersey do is hump and punch each other.
Stan
Never invite a New Jersey housewife into your home.
Sheila
You know how you get when you don't use your Vagisil.
Vagisil CEO
I first created Vagisil for my wife, Patty. She is my muse.
Vagisil CEO
All those ladies have stinky vaginas?
Butters
I'm gonna do some dip and speak my mind!
Cartman
I wasn't born with a plastic spoon in my mouth!
Cartman
I need to get stupid, Butters. I'm getting all the blood to rush to my head and watching a marathon of Two and a Half Men.
Cartman
Hello, excuse me! I know that you NASCAR people don't have very much. So I went out and bought you all $58 worth of canned food and blankets! You're welcome! (runs off) I helped the needy!
Butters
Over the past few months, I have watched you go from an ancillary character with a few amusing catch phrased to a dried out spooge rag covered in the jizz of a thousand older men.
Kyle