South Park

Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy Central
South park

(singing) Holidays are that special time when we laugh and sing and feel warm and cozy. Forget about being angry for a day. Remember how it felt to be a child, opening presents on Christmas morning? That's the way that we should all feel now. So I say, happy, happy, happy, holy, happy, happy, happy, happy holidays! (Happy, happy, happy, holy, happy, happy, happy, happy holidays!) Happy Kwanzaa, too, from me to you. Happy holidays, you guys.

Charles Manson

Grandma: I thought that shirt would look really good on you.
Cartman: Are you telling me I drove nine hours through butt-f**king nowhere to get a GODDAMN SHIRT?! Mom, Grandma's gone senile, time to stick her in a home.

Dude, this is pretty f**ked up right here.

</i> Stan

Charles Manson: Come on, I'll hotwire your grandpa's car.
Stan: Do you really think we should go with this guy?
Cartman: Stan, don't be such a dumbass, you have to trust people.

Cartman's Grandma: (as they haul her son back to the pokey) Watch that ass in prison, son.
Uncle Howard: Always do, mom. Always do.

Grandma Cartman: Mom, could you say grace?
Great-Grandma Cartman: Goddammit, why do I always have to be the one who says grace?! If one more person asks me to say grace, I'll be like: "Ey! I'm not saying grace, and if you try to make me, I'll kick you square in the nuts!"

Mister Hankey kicks ass!

Cousin Elwin

Charles Manson: (after Kenny was shot to death by the police) Oh my god! They killed the little orange coat kid!
Kyle: You bastards!

...We understand that there are hostages, and that the situation is critical, so we would like to remind you all that this live hostage crisis is being brought to you by Palmoral sun block. Remember, if it isn't Palmoral, you're going to get cancer.

News reporter

(singing)
You guys are my best friends!
Through thick and thin,
We've always been together!
We're four of a kind,
Havin' fun all day,
Pallin' around and laughin' away!
Just best friends!
Best friends are we!
I love you guys.

Evil Cartman

Evil Stan: Just give me the gun, kid.
Stan: Up yours, evil twin.

Evil Kyle: We're here to take you back goody two-shoes.
Cartman: I've gotta better idea. Why don't you two going go *bleep* yourselves?

Displaying quotes 61 - 72 of 287 in total

South Park Season 2 Quotes

Phillip: The subway certainly is wonderful, Terrance.
Terrance: It sure is. Let's look for treasure.
Phillip: Yes. Let's look for treasure.

Philip: Well, while we're waiting, why don't we search for treasure?
Terrance: Oh good idea, let's search for treasure.

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