South Park

South Park Season 2 Quotes (Page 7)

Season 2 Episode 11: "Roger Ebert Should Lay Off the Fatty Foods"

(during planetarium show)
Principal Victoria : Oh man this is boring.
Some guy: Yeah, who finds this stuff interesting?
High teenager 1: Dude, this is totally killer.
High teenager 2: I hope this goes on for like7 months.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mr. Garrison: A haiku is just like a normal American poem except it doesn't rhyme and it's totally stupid.
 • Rating: Unrated

Nurse Gollum: This is the strangest thing I've ever seen.
Mr. Mackey: Please, Nurse, for a woman with a dead fetus on her head you're not being very open-minded.
 • Rating: Unrated

(After Kenny's head explodes)
Stan: Oh my God! We've killed Kenny!
Kyle: We're bastards!
 • Rating: Unrated

Man Singing: I love Cheesy Poofs. You love Cheesy Poofs. If we didn't love Cheesy Poofs, we'd all be...
Cartman: (flatly)...Lame.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Adams: Now stars are actually made of hot gas, which is exactly what comes out of Roger Ebert's ass.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mrs. Cartman: Hon, don't pick your nose.
Cartman: God dammit, I'm not picking it. I have an itch for crying out loud.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cartman: Hey, they're giving out bread outside!
Poor girl: Finally we can get something to eat.
(when the poor girl and her mom walk outside, Cartman shuts the door)
Cartman: Psych!!
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Adams: Hi, I'm Dr. Adams, and welcome to the Plane'arium.
Stan: I thought this was the planetarium.
Dr. Adams: It is, I have a bone disease that prevents me from saying the 't' in Plane'arium.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mr. Garrison: Now what's wrong with the Planetarium?
Stan: It's boring.
Kyle: Yeah, all the constellations look alike.
Mr. Garrison: Well too bad. You're all going to the planetarium tomorrow and you're all going to love it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: Why hello. If it isn't my little friends with all their little dreams.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kyle: Fat ass Cartman was not on the school bus today, what a big fat turd.
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: But Mr. Garrison, I have to go and sing the Cheesy Poofs song!
Mr. Garrison: No Eric, you have to come in the Planetarium and look at a bunch of stupid stars.
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: I could sing the cheesy poof song with both hands tied behind my back!
Kyle: You couldn't get both hands behind your back, fatty!
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 2 Episode 10: "Chickenpox"

Kyle: Oh my god, this is like a third world country!
 • Rating: Unrated

Mr. Garrison: And, so, children, that's how you tell a prostitute from a police officer. Now, are there any questions? Yes, Kyle?
Kyle: What the hell does that have to do with American history?
Mr. Garrision: Good question, Kyle. Are there any other questions?
Kyle: Mr. Garrison, I'm the only one here. Everyone else has chicken herpes.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Mrs. McCormick: That ain't why, Stuart! It's because you are an alcoholic retard and he has dreams of not eating frozen waffles for dinner every night!
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Kyle: Here's Kenny's house.
Cartman: (singing) In the ghetto. On a cold and grey Chicago morn, another little baby child is born in the ghetto. (In the ghetto!)
 • Rating: Unrated

Kyle: They knew that staying at Kenny's house would make us sick, and they made us do it anyway.
Stan: They did?
Kyle: Yeah, and I think I figured out why.
Stan: Why?
Kyle: Because they're a bunch of assholes.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mrs. Marsh: You mean Stanley's missing?
Doctor: No, no, he's not missing. We justcan't seem to find him at this moment.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

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