South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralSouth Park Season 3 Quotes
I demand macaroni pictures.
Moses
Jubilee Director: We have all gathered here tonight, from every chapter of Judiasm.
Elder #1: Elder Schwartz, orthodox chapter.
Elder #2: Elder Harris, reform chapter.
Elder #3: Elder Garth, anti-semitic chapter.
Jubilee Director: I've never heard of the anti- semitic chapter of Judiasm before.
Elder Garth: We're new.
Sheila Brovflofski: Kyle and Ike, be safe, and Kenny, try to act Jewish.
Kenny: (muffled) How do you do that?
Squirt Leader: Okay, Squirts, let's see what you made macaroni pictures of. Ishmael?
Ishmael: Apple.
Squirt Leader: Good. Matthew?
Matthew: Cat.
Squirt Leader: Joseph?
Joseph: Triangle.
Squirt Leader: Okay. Ike?
Ike: Cokeshen.
Squirt Leader: You don't make a macaroni picture of the Last Supper at a Jewish camp!
Squirt Leader: Okay, Squirts, the elders have given us a very important task tonight. We are all going to make macaroni pictures, like this one, using dry macaroni, paper, and glue.
Squirt: How come we have to make macaroni pictures?
Squirt Leader: Because that's what Squirts do! Now, shut your pie-hole!
Gerald: Tell Ike how much fun Squirts is, Kyle.
Kyle: What? You want me to lie?
Gerald: Yeah, lie.
Kyle: Mom? Can Kenny go to Jewbilee with me?
Sheila: Uh well, Kyle, Jewbilee is sort of a special thing.
Kyle: Oh. Kenny isn't special?
Kenny: (Aw.)
Sheila: No, no, you're very special, Kenny. It's just that well, Jewbilee is for Jewish kids.
Gerald: You see boys, Jew Scouts is a special group that borrows a little bit from all different Jewish denominations. From the Orthodox Jews, from the Hasidic Jews, from the Northern Italy Cave Jews But you have to believe the basic tenets of Judaism to be a Scout.
Kyle: Kenny'll believe whatever you want him to.
Kenny: (Yeah.)
You can't just hang out with your buddy, Kyle, all the time. People will think you guys are, you know, funny.
Randy
I like math.
Dougie
Pip: Can I be Jaclyn Smith? Can I?
Butters: No, uh, I get to be Jaclyn Smith. See, I thought of Charlie's Angels and I get to be Jaclyn Smith c-cause I thought of it.
How come they're actin' that way, Stan? Huh? How come they're laughin' and falling down and such?
Butters
Guests: Goodbye everyone.
(they leave the house)
Agent in Charge: Look out!
(ATF agents shoot everyone dead)
Agent in Charge: Hold your fire! Okay, people at the door, that was a warning. Go back inside and tell everyone that they have one minute to surrender.
