Stan: Ready? 1, 2, 3, 4!
(Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny start playing the flutes and drum as they march. Cartman starts beating the drum.)
Cartman: Yeah! Do you like to rock?! I like to rock! Hello, Baltimore!
Kyle: Cartman, what the hell are you doing?!
Cartman: I'm playing the drum!(He continues to beat the drum.)
Kyle: You're not supposed to beat the drum, you hit it!
Cartman: You don't hit a drum! You gotta beat the (bleep) out of it! (He starts to beat the drum again.) Shut your pie-hole! I'll kick your ass, you (bleep) drum!

I will not rest until the South have won, and Stan and Kyle are my slaves, because I hate those guys. I hate those guys with every part of my tired Confederate body.

Cartman's Letter

Al Gore: Wow, there's quite a crowd out there.
Aide: Yeah. It's like the million man march, except there really are a million people out there.

Mr. Garrison: Hey guys, let's all play a game of grab-ass.
Gerald: What's grab-ass?
Mr. Garrison: We just run around in circles and grab each other's asses.

Stan: Give up, fatass! There's over a hundred National Guards down here.
Cartman: Suck my ass!

Stan: (after Kenny was killed by a flare) Oh, my god! They killed Kenny!
Grandpa: You bastards!
Kyle: (to Grandpa) Hey!

Cartman: Now I believe you guys are going to be my slaves for a month.
Kyle: You cheated Cartman, and the bet was that the South won the Civil War and the South still didn't win the Civil War, fat ass.
Stan: Yeah, too bad you're such a dumb ass in history or you would've known.
Cartman: I hate you guys; I hate you guys so much.

...and was forced to live off her own feces for several days.

</i> News Anchor

Stan: You can't just show up to a Civil War re-enactment dressed up like General Lee, fatass.
Cartman: Oh really? I'm pretty sure I just did.

I hate you guys, I hate you guys so very, very much...

</i> Cartman

Cartman: (as Tom Brokaw) Good day, gentlemen. I'm here to get the big story, the big scoop. I have just found out that you have found some kind of ship from an alien race. Seeing that I am Pulitzer Prize winning Tom Brokaw
Executive 1: Look, kid. Did you think this was going to fool anybody? You don't look anything like Tom Brokaw?
Cartman: What? Dare you question my integra-tah?
Kyle (from inside): I told you Tom Brokaw doesn't have a mustache, fat ass.
Cartman: Whooh, I had some bad burritos today.

Marklar: You Marklars must leave.
Missionary: But you will all burn forever in eternal hellfire!
Marklar: Yes, that's nice, thank you for stopping by.

South Park Season 3 Quotes

Chinpokomon Executive: You are American.
South Park Toy Store Owner: Yes.
Chinpokomon Executive: Ohhh, you must have very big penis!
South Park Toy Store Owner: Excuse me, I was just asking you what your up to with these toys.
Chinpokomon Executive: Nothing, we are very simple people with very small penis. Mr. Hosik's penis is especially small!
Mr. Hosik: So small.
Chinpokomon Executive: We cannot achieve so much with such small penis, but you American wow, penis so big, so big penis!
South Park Toy Store Owner: Well aah I guess it is pretty good size.

Skeeter: Hey Panda Bear! We don't take kindly to your types around here. Bartender: Now Skeeter, he ain't hurtin' nobody. Skeeter: No! I wanna know something from Mr. Panda Bear here. If you pandas are from mountainous areas of China and Tibet, how come you only eat bamboo which is prone to grow in dryer, more arid regions?