South Park

South Park Season 3 Quotes (Page 5)

Season 3 Episode 11: "Chinpokomon"

(From the 'Wild Wacky Action Bike' commercial)
Singer: Wild, Wacky Action Bike! Very hard to drive!
Narrator: Wild Wacky Action Bike is impossible to steer. And it glows in the dark!
 • Rating: Unrated

Mr. Garrison: For the last time I am not Garrison-san! and this is not Hat-san!
 • Rating: Unrated

Chinpokomon Executive: You have such a large penis.
Sharon Marsh: What??
Chinpokomon Executive: Your penis, wow!
(Mr. Hosik slaps his executive and pushes him aside)
Mr. Hosik: What he means is all MEN in this town have very large penis.
Sharon Marsh: Can't you see what's happening? They're just using their talk to distract you! He doesn't really have a small penis!
(Mr. Hosik pulls down his pants, everybody looks shocked)
Sharon Marsh: Oh.
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: Jesus tap-dancing Christ Kyle, get with the program!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Stan: Dude! The video game just gave Kenny a seizure!
Cartman: Ah, sweet! This game's cool!
 • Rating: Unrated

Randy: We love Chinpokomon too! It's super toy number one!
 • Rating: Unrated

Chinpokomon doll: Down with America!
 • Rating: Unrated

Chinpokomon doll: I love you. Let's be best friends and destroy American Capitalist government!
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 3 Episode 10: "Korn's Groovy Pirate Ghost Mystery"

Korn: Oh! Nibblet!
 • Rating: Unrated

Voice: Hi Kyle.
Kyle: (hops back) Aaaah!
Cartman: (who's providing the voice) Have you been a good boy, Kyle? Have you been making Grandma proud?
Kyle: Dammit Cartman! That's not funny!
Stan: (chuckling) Eh, eh! Yes it is.
Cartman: Heh heh, I'm sweet.
Kyle: Alright, alright, let's get this over with so we can put her back.
Stan: Okay, grab the sled.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kenny: What the hell? What the f--k is this?
(Mumbling as two more speeders fly by and bomb him to bits; then the rats converge on him.)
 • Rating: Unrated

DJ: Well here's some kids enjoying the Halloween haunt now. Hey boys, what do you think of cozy FM's Halloween haunt so far?
Stan: This one time, like eight months ago, I saw two guys kissing in a park. And that was the gayest thing I'd ever seen until I saw the cozy FM Halloween haunt.
 • Rating: Unrated

Randy: Here's Korn's van!
Lady in mob: Let's flip it over!
Officer Barbrady: Okay people, let's try to stay orderly. The best way to do this is to all get on one side and push from the top.
 • Rating: Unrated

(Korn catches the pirate ghosts in a net.)
Jonathan Davis: Now let's see who these pirate ghosts really are.
(The pirate ghosts disappear.)
Jonathan Davis: Oh I guess they really were pirate ghosts.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jonathan Davis: Me and the gang learned a lot and we hope you did too. You all perceived us to be mean, evil people but really we're just normal guys. And we all perceived pirate ghosts to be real when actually they were just cotton swabs. So I guess the lesson is it's easy to perceive something one way and then be wrong. So we all need to learn to be a little less perceptive.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jonathan: It's simple. Priest Maxi didn't want there to be a Halloween, so he decided to scare everyone away from the docks.
David: Yeah. And then he used this flashlight and some cotton swabs to create the ghosts. (shows the flashlight and swabs, then shines the light through the swabs. The pirate ghosts appear in the distance)
Fieldy: (with some cheese and a cup)Then all he needed was some sound effects created by this cup and a piece of cheese. (holds them to his mouth and sounds) Aaaaraargh!
Jonathan: And all he had to do then was create a ghost ship, by using some candles, a mirror, and two squirrels. (genuflects to place the candle between the mirror and the squirrels. A pirate ship appears on the lake)
Chef: Father, why did you go to all this trouble?
Fr. Maxi: Because Halloween is an abomination of God. I would do anything to stop this wretched, unholy holiday!
Chef: Including killing people and wreaking havoc all over South Park?
Brunet: Don't you see that by trying to stop Halloween you've scared the hell out of everybody?
Fr. Maxi: No.
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: (reading box) 'Life-sized Antonio Banderas Blow Up Love Doll;' comes with realistic gen-e-tilia.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cartman: Oh sweet. The "Life-Sized Blow-up Antonio Banderas Love Doll." What a cool Christmas present.
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: (to Nibblet) Ahh! You goddamn chicken from outer space! (He chases Nibblet as Nibblet flies away.)
 • Rating: Unrated

(The kids are plotting to scare the 5th graders with a dead body.)
Cartman: Then where the hell are we gonna get a dead body?
Stan: We're gonna dig up Kyle's dead gramma!
Kyle: Yeah fat ass, we're gonna dig upDIG UP KYLE'S DEAD GRAMMA?!
 • Rating: Unrated

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