South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralSouth Park Season 3 Quotes
Marklar Leader: I am Marklar, leader of the Marklar.
Stan: Uh, cool. My name is Stan and I'm the leader of Earth.
Marklar Leader: Marklar to you.
Stan: Cool!
Cartman: Ey! I'm the leader of Earth!
Stan: Screw you, Cartman! I called leader first!
Cartman: Well, you can call leader 'til your ass bleeds, but that doesn't make it true!
Federal Agent: Earlier this morning, an ethnic child was seen piloting an alien space craft over Chinese airspace.
Cartman: Cool!
Federal Agent: Cool?! That ship has enough plutonium on board to vaporise a small city. Is that "cool"?
Stan: Yeah.
(slowly stuttering through the technical lingo) Now stay with me on this one folks. Sally Struthers has a Tiberian junker, which is the favored ship of the Huts, and she has trapped our new CBC ship in a, uh, positronic tractor beam. So we're going to need an ionic tractor disruptor. Not a regular ionic tractor disruptor, but a negative ionic tractor disruptor to help spread the word of Jesus. (mutters) I look like a f---in idiot up here.
Pat Robertson
Marklar: You Marklars must leave.
Missionary: But you will all burn forever in eternal hellfire!
Marklar: Yes, that's nice, thank you for stopping by.
Marklar Leader: You see we call everything Marklar.
Kyle: Doesn't that get confusing?
Marklar Leader: No, not at all. Hey Marklar!
Marklar: Yes Marklar.
Marklar Leader: You see!
CIA member: I need to talk to you, you, you, and you. (points to Cartman, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny)
Mr. Garrison: Now what have you little bastards done?
Cartman: It was Kyle who went #2 in the urinal!
Kyle: Shut up, fat ass!
Remember... (pulls down a screen and points to it) reading the Bible plus accepting Jesus equals food.
</i> Missionary
(all the Ethopians start reading the Bible)
The hare-krishnas are totally gay!
Mr. Garrison
Marvin: (series of clicking sounds)
Missionary: No no Marvin. Speak in God's language...English.
Stan: Maybe we'll come and visit sometime.
Cartman: Yeah, and maybe Jesse Jackson will be president.
Now look at her, she's a goddamned whore, Papa.
Mark
Cartman: Alright that's it, SCREW YOU GUYS; I'm going to home school.
Mr. Garrison: Oh please God, let it be forever.