South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralSouth Park Season 3 Quotes
Now look at her, she's a goddamned whore, Papa.
Mark
Stan: Oh, my god! Fonics monkey killed Kenny!
Cartman: You're damn right, he did.
Mark: Now look at her she's a damn whore papa.
Butters: Damn right.
If you're monkey arrived in the box dead, call 555-4500 to get a new monkey.
Tape
You should stop being such a smart-mouthed, Mr. Know-It-All!
Butters
Stan: Shut up, Cartman!
Cartman: You shut up, butt-hole! (Hit's Stan)
Stan: You shut up, gay-wad! (Hit's Cartman)
Cartman: You shut up, ass-logger! (Hit's Stan)
Mark: Oh my goodness. Are you two enemies?
Stan: No... we're friends.
Mark: Strange friends would call each other names and fight.
Jimbo: You can do it kid, you can do it!
(after Kyle spells incorrectly)
Jimbo: YOU LITTLE BASTARD!!, YOU COSTED ME 50 BUCKS!!!!
(singing) Who would have thought such a miracle could be, who could have known that this moment I would see, a new way of living, a chance to be free!
</i> Cartman
Cartman: You're going down bitch!
Kyle: Shut up fat-ass, everyone knows I can spell better than you.
Cartman: Yeah, well this year I have a secret weapon. (Gives Phonics Monkey a thumbs up)
(at the spelling bee) Kyle, Kyle, he's our man, if he can't do it I'm out 50 bucks.
Jimbo
(Mark, the home schooled kid, rolls into Mr. Garrison's class in a giant hamster ball.)
Mark: Hey guys, what's up?
Cartman: Dude, what's wrong with you, you got some kind of John Travolta disease or something?
Mr. Garrison: Alright children, let's all just try to ignore the fact that there's a little boy in a giant hamster ball and continue on with our lesson, okay?
My fellow Americans, I wish to address the concerns many of us have over the growing number of Japanese military bases forming in the United States. The new Japanese emperor, Hirohito, has made our own children into fighter pilots who will soon fly to Hawaii and attack Pearl Harbor. I spoke with Mr. Hirohito this morning, and he assured me that I have a very large penis. He said it was mammoth, dinosauric, and absolutely dwarfed his penis, which, he assured me, was nearly microscopic in size. My penis, he said, was most likely one of the biggest on the planet. I applaud Mr. Hirohito in his honesty. Thank you.
Bill Clinton
