South Park

South Park Season 3 Quotes (Page 9)

Season 3 Episode 6: "Sexual Harassment Panda"

Misfit mascot: I'm Willy the 'don't stare directly into the sun' worm. Now you boys know not to stare directly into the sun, right?
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Judge: Well, seeing as how we have no lawyers, I'm throwing the case out. Case dismissed.
Skeeter: Hey! We don't take kindly to cases being dismissed around here.
Bartender: Goddamnit Skeeter, shut the hell up.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Skeeter: We don't take kindly to your types around here.
Cartman: Did you guys see a big panda bear in here or not?
Skeeter: We don't take kindly to panda bears!
Stan: Well, we don't take kindly to you!
Man at bar: We don't take kindly to folks that don't take kindly around here.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Sexual Harassment Panda: When one little panda sticks his winkie in another little panda's ear... that's sexual harassment. That makes me a saaaad panda.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Theme song to Gerald Broflowski's ad: Kids at school... making you mad? Just sue their asses with Kyle's dad!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Bartender: Now, I don't want any trouble.
Sexual Harassment Panda: I get the point. I know when I'm not wanted. I'm off to the Island of Misfit Mascots.
Bartender: God Damn it, Skeeter. How come every time a panda bear comes in here, you gotta go flappin' your jaw
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Sexual Harassment Panda Theme song:
Who lives in the east 'neath the willow tree?
Sexual Harassment Panda!
Who explains sexual harassment to you and me?
Sexual Harassment Panda!
"Don't say that, don't touch there,
"Don't be nasty," says the silly bear,
He's come to tell you what's right and wrong,
Sexual Harassment Panda!
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Sexual Harassment Panda: How would you like a big panda punch in your puss?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Skeeter: Hey Panda Bear! We don't take kindly to your types around here. Bartender: Now Skeeter, he ain't hurtin' nobody. Skeeter: No! I wanna know something from Mr. Panda Bear here. If you pandas are from mountainous areas of China and Tibet, how come you only eat bamboo which is prone to grow in dryer, more arid regions?
 • Rating: 3.5 / 5.0

Sexual Harassment Panda: "Article 36, Section 19: One panda may not make sexual comments about another panda's appearance. If said panda does make"
Stan: Ugh, dude, get me out of here!
Cartman: I think Sexual Harassment Panda is cool.
Stan: You would think that, you little a*s-sucker.
Cartman: What did you call me?
Stan: An a*s-sucker. It means you suck a*s. You see an a*s, you suck it. You're an a*s-sucker.
Cartman: That does it! I am suing you for sexual harassment!
Sexual Harassment Panda: Uh-oh.
Stan: What?
Cartman: You have sexually harassed me for the last time! It says right here that now I can sue you and take all of your money.
Sexual Harassment Panda: That's right, he can.
Stan: No you can't, you little a*s-sucker!
Cartman: Oh, you did it again! You all heard him!
Sexual Harassment Panda: "The first party of the first panda may sue the second-party panda unless that panda was said panda aforementioned panda."
 • Rating: Unrated

Gerald: Did you, or did you not, hear my client being called an a*s-sucker?!
Mr. Garrison: Yes.
Gerald: And you did nothing.
Mr. Garrison: Well, he is a little a*s-sucker.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mr Garrison: Now does anyone know what sexual harassment means? (Cartman raises his hand) Yes Eric?
Cartman: When you're trying to have intercourse with a lady friend, and some other guy comes up and tickles your balls from behind.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Gerald Broflovski: Principle Victoria are you aware that my client was being harassed at your school?
Principal Victoria: Well not any more than any other student.
Gerald Broflovski: So you admit that harassment goes on?
Principal Victoria: I don't know.
Gerald Broflovski: You don't know, Your the principal!
Principal Victoria: I can't be around them every second.
Gerald Broflovski: So it does go on!
Principal Victoria: Alright alright i killed him. I hit him over the head and I cut up the body. I tried to burn it but it wouldn't burn. Oh the smell of it. I put the legs in garbage bags and hid the torso under a bridge. I had to do it.
(Principal Victoria starts crying)
Principal Victoria: Oh god!
Gerald Broflovski: Principal Victoria was Eric Cartmen called an a** Sucker yes or no?
Principal Victoria: I believe so yes.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 3 Episode 5: "Tweek vs. Craig"

Sumo Master: It is only an ass. You must overcome the ass with your mind!
 • Rating: Unrated

Ned: (while boxing Tweek) What you got bee-och?
 • Rating: Unrated

Sumo Master: There is indeed great power in your ass, Eric. Perhaps you should consider sumo as a profession.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mr. Adler: You are here because you are America's future. You may someday be doctors, or lawyers, or scientists. Most of you, however, will be pumping gas or cutting sheet metal. And that's why we have shop class.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

(Cartman and Craig are Sumoing)
Cartman: Respect mah authoritah!! (Shoves his ass at Craig)
Craig: Oh, Jesus! I can't take it!
Sumo Trainer: Fight back! Resist the ass!
Craig: How can I resist an ass so great!?!
Sumo Master: It is only an ass! You must overcome the ass with your mind!
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: Well then I guess you won't care about what Tweek said about your mom.
Craig: Nope.
(slams door)
Cartman: GODDAMMIT!
(knocks and Craig opens the door)
Cartman: I guess you won't care about what he said about your guinea pig.
Craig: WHAT DID HE SAY ABOUT STRIPE!!
 • Rating: Unrated

Kyle: Whoa did you hear that, Tweek?
Tweek: (Exhausted) What?
Kyle: Craig just called you a boner.
Tweek: Agh! You son of a bitch!
(Fights Craig again)
Kyle: We just have to keep pouring gas into the fire.
Stan: Yeah!
 • Rating: Unrated

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