South Park

Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy Central
South park
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Mall Cop: Hey! What are you doin'?
Mad Scientist: I've developed a new strain of anthrax which I will soon unleash upon all of North America!
Mall Cop: Move along, sir.

Cartman: Check this out, my mom made us costumes.
Stan: Costumes!
Cartman: Yeah. This one's yours Stan, and this one is Kyle's, this one will cover up Wendy's hooters.
Stan: Hey Cartman, how come your costume has like nose rings and facial hair?
Cartman: Cause I'm like you know, the tough one. Every boy band has to have the one member you know, that's tough.
Kyle: I want to be the tough one.
Cartman: Kyle, you are the sweet one, would you please just cooperate and...
Kyle: I wan't to be the tough one!
Cartman: You can't be the tough one because you're Jewish!
Kyle: Jews are tough!
Cartman: Since when?
Kyle: Since Abraham Fatass!

The Fingerbang song:
Fingerbang bang! Bang bang!
Fingerbang bang, bang bang bang!
I'm gonna Fingerbang-bang you into my life
Girl, you like to Fingerbang and it's all right.
'Cuz I'm the King of Fingerbang, let's not fight
I'm gonna Fingerbang-bang you every night.
Fingerbang!
Bang-bang!
Fingerbang-bang!
Bangbangbang!
I'm gonna fingerbang-bang you into my life
Fingerbang:
Fingerbang!
Bang. Bang bang bang.
Fingerbang-bang!
Bangbangbang!
I'm gonna fingerbang-bang you into my life
Girl, you like to fingerbang, and it's alright''.
I'm gonna fingerbang-bang you into my life
Girl, you like to fingerbang, and it's alright.
I'm goin' tuh fingerbang-bang you ever-y night
Fingerbang!
Bang bang.
Fingerbang-bang!
Bangbangbang.
I'm gonna fingerbang-bang you into my life
Girl, you like to fingerbang, and it's alright.
I'm goin' tuh fingerbang-bang you ever-y night
I'll just Fingerbang-bang you ever-y night!
Girl, you like to fingerbang, and it's alright.
I'm goin' tuh fingerbang-bang you ever-y night
Fingerbang bang! bang bang Fingerbang bang. bang bang bang!
I'm gonna Fingerbang-bang you into my life
Girl, you like to Fingerbang and it's all right.
'Cuz I'm the King of Fingerbang, let's not fight
I'm gonna Fingerbang-bang you every night.
Cartman's Solo:
And girl, you know that you're the only girl for me, girl
Girl, you're the girl of my fantasies, you're my girl
You're my girl, my girl, my girl.

Ike: (singing) Itsy Bitsy spider up the water spout.
Cartman: Next!
Ike: (singing) Oh Danny Boy, the pipe is calling, clang cling clang...
Cartman: Next Audition!
Ike: E, F, G, H, I, J, K, Ellemenopee...
Cartman: GODDAMMIT IKE!!!
Ike: G. U. B. When the teacher wanna punch me...
Cartman: Not the next song, THE NEXT PERSON!!
Ike: (takes music and flips Cartman off)
Cartman: Oh man, this is gonna be a long-ass day.

Attention mall shoppers, the next twenty people to buy an orange smoothie will also receive a complimentary Nissan Sentra, Hurry up.
(shoppers rush towards Orange Smoothie stand)

Cartman

Cartman: Gentleman, thank you for coming. This is the beginning of a great time in our lives. God has finally spoken to me guys, and he has told me how I can make ten million dollars.
Stan: How?
Cartman: Boy band.
Kyle: Boy band?
Cartman: Boy Band.
Stan: I'm not being in any faggy boy band.
Cartman: There's nothing faggy about ten million dollars asshole.

Oh, this is a democratic boy band, is it?

Cartman

Well God, I guess you got me again, didn't you? Yeah, that was a good one, God. Hope it made you laugh, you sick bastard.

Cartman

It's when you take your finger, and stick it down your asshole, and it makes you feel really good.

</i> Kenny

Randy: You know in a way I think I was even jealous of you being in a boy band. Isn't that stupid?
Stan: Not really. Not any more stupid than some of the other stuff you've done.

Stan: Dad, I like being in a boy band, I think it's interesting.
Randy: Well there's plenty of interesting things you can do. Have you ever tried marijuana?

Shelly: Mom, what's up dad's ass?
Sharon: It's a long story, Shelly. Let's just say you father has a lot up his ass right now.

Displaying quotes 133 - 144 of 285 in total

South Park Season 4 Quotes

It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a woman's separation, this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation.

</i> Cartman

Kyle: But you know, I've learned something today. You see, the basis of all reasoning is the mind's awareness of itself. What we think, the external objects we perceive, are all like actors that come on and off stage. But our consciousness, the stage itself, is always present to us.
Cartman: Tits.