South Park

South Park Season 4 Quotes (Page 5)

Season 4 Episode 12: "Trapper Keeper"

Stan: Cartman, you might as well open up, we're just going to have Bill Cosby bust the door down after he finishes having sex with your mom.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Bill Cosby: (sees the blob Cartman has become) There's got to be a part of your friend still in there...
Cartman Trapper-Keeper: (Farts)
Kyle: Oh my god.Cartman is still in there.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mr. Garrison: You can't have an election with just one person running, what's the fun in that? Ike, how about you? You're a genius.
(Ike looks at the others glaring at him)
Ike: No.
Mr. Garrison: Okay, our next nominee is Ike the Genius.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bill Cosby: Well that does it! (takes out laser gun)
Kyle: Hey! What are you doing!
Bill Cosby: I'm afraid i have no other choice! I have to kill him!
Kyle: Oh! Ok.
Stan: That's fine. No wait!
Bill Cosby: What?
Stan: Can I do it?
Bill Cosby: Oh, I suppose... (give gun to Stan)
Stan: Sweet! Kiss your ass goodbye fat boy!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Stan: Kyle saved your life! The least you could do is thank him!
Cartman: Alright, alright......Kyle......(opens mouth. episode ends)
 • Rating: Unrated

Mr. Garrison: (Looks outside the classroom window) What the hell is that? Oh my God! What is that thing?! Children, there's some huge, bulbous monstrosity heading for the classroom! Oh my God, it's awful! It's coming for the door!
(Rosie o'Donnell enters the room)
Rosie O'Donnell: Hello, kids!
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 4 Episode 11: "4th Grade"

Kyle: (to Cartman) Shut up, fat ass!
 • Rating: Unrated

Ms. Choksondik: Life isn't about going back, it's about going forward.
Yes, there are times in our lives that we wish we could relive... but, if we've already lived them perfectly, why live them again? The adventure of life is there's always something new, new challenges, new experiences, a fun game is a game it gets harder as it goes, so it is with life.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

(Stan, Kyle, and Kenny on seeing Ms. Choksondik.)
Stan: Whoa dude!
Kenny: Her titties are f**king huge!
(later)
Ms. Choksondik: (while writing on the board) My name is Ms. Choksondik.
Stan: More like Ms. Makes-me-sick.
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: (jumping up on the desk) Kiss my ass!
(long pause)
Cartman: Oh, you guys are so weak!
Ms. Choksondik: Young man do you have an explanation for this?
Cartman: Oh, I'm sure I do.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mr. Mackey: After being dismissed from teaching, he went off to write romance novels. His first novel sold very well and everything was fine until he found out his novel won the Gay Pulitzer Prize, and was considered the best homo-erotic novel since 'Huckleberry Finn'.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cartman: We did not do our homework Ms.Makes-me-sick.
Ms.Choksondik: It's Choksondik!
 • Rating: Unrated

Stan: We need to stand up to this new teacher and insert ourselves.
 • Rating: Unrated

Butters: I don't want to do it if it hurts or if it makes you get all sticky.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Kyle: Look, you guys built a machine together that can bend time. If you just agree with him, you can build another one and usher in a whole new era of science.
Nerd: And live in a world of 72 original Star Trek's? I don't think so. I don't want to live in that world.
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: We've had a new time machine built, this one out of a simple microwave oven and a duck.
 • Rating: Unrated

Stan: (after Kenny dies) Who didn't see that coming?
 • Rating: Unrated

Kyle: (After Timmy coming back from time) Dude! It looks like Timmy went all over time! He must have alot to tell us!
(pause)
Timmy: Ih, Timmy.
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: Suck my balls.
Ms. Choksondik: Present them.
Cartman: What?
Ms. Choksondik: Present: Whip them out and I'll suck 'em.
 • Rating: Unrated

Stan: This is it the end of innocence this is the loss of that playful youth that all are parents warned us about
Kyle: I just didn't think it come so soon.
Cartman: Yeah, only now do we realize how we took the 3rd grade for granted.
Kyle: Huh?
Cartman: Everything was great in 3rd grade and now that it's all over we're starting to see how special it was
Cartman: (starts singing) Remember how it used to be? In the 3rd grade we used to laugh and play and cherish each day, in the 3rd grade we learned wondrous things with a teacher so nice sat on marshmallow desks with teddy bear smiles the world all seem to make sense but that sense seemed slowly but, seemed to fade after 3rd grade. In 3rd grade we used to write with crayons we would make sparkly pictures with glitter and glue we had warm cookies and hearts full of love and it wasn't a care in the world for me or for you. There's not in this life that I wouldn't trade just to go back for 1 minute to 3rd grade.
(Clyde starts crying)
 • Rating: Unrated

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