South Park

Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy Central
South park
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Mr. Garrison: (Looks outside the classroom window) What the hell is that? Oh my God! What is that thing?! Children, there's some huge, bulbous monstrosity heading for the classroom! Oh my God, it's awful! It's coming for the door!
(Rosie o'Donnell enters the room)
Rosie O'Donnell: Hello, kids!

Cartman, you might as well open up, we're just going to have Bill Cosby bust the door down after he finishes having sex with your mom.

Stan

Stan: This is it the end of innocence this is the loss of that playful youth that all are parents warned us about
Kyle: I just didn't think it come so soon.
Cartman: Yeah, only now do we realize how we took the 3rd grade for granted.
Kyle: Huh?
Cartman: Everything was great in 3rd grade and now that it's all over we're starting to see how special it was
Cartman: (starts singing) Remember how it used to be? In the 3rd grade we used to laugh and play and cherish each day, in the 3rd grade we learned wondrous things with a teacher so nice sat on marshmallow desks with teddy bear smiles the world all seem to make sense but that sense seemed slowly but, seemed to fade after 3rd grade. In 3rd grade we used to write with crayons we would make sparkly pictures with glitter and glue we had warm cookies and hearts full of love and it wasn't a care in the world for me or for you. There's not in this life that I wouldn't trade just to go back for 1 minute to 3rd grade.
(Clyde starts crying)

Cartman: Suck my balls.
Ms. Choksondik: Present them.
Cartman: What?
Ms. Choksondik: Present: Whip them out and I'll suck 'em.

Kyle: (After Timmy coming back from time) Dude! It looks like Timmy went all over time! He must have alot to tell us!
(pause)
Timmy: Ih, Timmy.

(to Cartman) Shut up, fat ass!

Kyle

(after Kenny dies) Who didn't see that coming?

Stan

Life isn't about going back, it's about going forward.
Yes, there are times in our lives that we wish we could relive... but, if we've already lived them perfectly, why live them again? The adventure of life is there's always something new, new challenges, new experiences, a fun game is a game it gets harder as it goes, so it is with life.

Ms. Choksondik

After being dismissed from teaching, he went off to write romance novels. His first novel sold very well and everything was fine until he found out his novel won the Gay Pulitzer Prize, and was considered the best homo-erotic novel since 'Huckleberry Finn'.

Mr. Mackey

I'm gay! I'm gay as a gymnast on shore leave!

Mr. Garrison

Cartman: We did not do our homework Ms.Makes-me-sick.
Ms.Choksondik: It's Choksondik!

Cartman: (jumping up on the desk) Kiss my ass!
(long pause)
Cartman: Oh, you guys are so weak!
Ms. Choksondik: Young man do you have an explanation for this?
Cartman: Oh, I'm sure I do.

Displaying quotes 85 - 96 of 285 in total

South Park Season 4 Quotes

It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a woman's separation, this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation.

</i> Cartman

Kyle: But you know, I've learned something today. You see, the basis of all reasoning is the mind's awareness of itself. What we think, the external objects we perceive, are all like actors that come on and off stage. But our consciousness, the stage itself, is always present to us.
Cartman: Tits.