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South-park

Oh geez, I don't wanna get the AIDS fellas.

Butters

Stan: Don't look at Butters' schlong, gaymo!
Cartman: (in panicking voice) I wasn't looking as his schlong, I was seeing how to put the condom on!
Kyle: Sure.

Stan: Cartman, what the hell are you doing?
Cartman: I'm milking the dog. They make dog milk.

That's what it's called when you milk a dog; Beating it off. God, don't you guys know anything?

Cartman

I think my boy does need to learn about sexual educationfrom the school.

Sheila

Ms. Choksondick: Here's a little picture of Herpes...
(She shows the picture and the girls scream.)
Ms. Choksondick: And here's a little Syphilis for you...
(She shows another picture and the girls scream again.)
Ms. Choksondick: That's right; unless you get your boyfriends to wear condums, you can AND will get these diseases!

Cartman: That's right! You stay out!
Stan: You can't keep us out forever, you f[bleep]ing fatass! We'll be back as soon as Kyle's hemorrhoid is better!

Stan: Dude can you loan me 20 bucks for a new jacket?
Cartman: Ha! If you need money you can get a job Stan. No freeloaders are gonna take my hard earned cash.
Kyle: Your grandma left it to you, you didn't earn it!
Cartman: Didn't earn it? What about all those years I spent making grandma like me? All the wet spit filled kisses I put up with. The constant smell of asprin and pee. Don't tell me I didn't earn it you son of a bitch!

Executor: (reading will) For you, Eric, I leave from my life savings, the sum of one million dollars, to be transferred to you immediately.
Cartman: Whosa-jigga-wha?

(playing with a Jennifer Lopez doll)
Stan: There you are, Jennifer Lopez! You've been most uncooperative, Ms. Lopez.
Kyle: (voicing Jennifer Lopez) No, please! I promise I'll never make another album or movie!
Stan: It's too late for that, Ms. Lopez.
Kyle: (voicing Jennifer Lopez) Have mercy!

(to God) Why? How could you do this? There are people starving in Alabama and, and you give Cartman a million dollars?

Kyle

I'm afraid that the hemorrhoid has spread to his lungs.

Doctor
Displaying quotes 157 - 168 of 253 in total

South Park Season 5 Quotes


Beef and lamb, chicken and ham,
Step to the left and clap your hands.
Gosh we love that chicken and ham.
Don't let it go to waste, chicken and ham.
clapping sound
Beef and lamb, chicken and ham,
Step to the left and clap your hands.
Got a little left, chicken and ham.
Don't let it go to waste, chicken and ham.
Beef and lamb, chicken and ham,
Step to the left and clap your hands.
Gosh we love that chicken and ham.
Don't let it go to waste, chicken and ham.

<i>Full lyrics to the song Terrance and Phillip sing, as used on the closing credits

Well, you know what I say about kids, they're all pink on the inside.

Mr. Grazier
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