South Park Season 5 Quotes
Oh geez, I don't wanna get the AIDS fellas.Butters
Stan: Don't look at Butters' schlong, gaymo!
Cartman: (in panicking voice) I wasn't looking as his schlong, I was seeing how to put the condom on!
Stan: Cartman, what the hell are you doing?
Cartman: I'm milking the dog. They make dog milk.
That's what it's called when you milk a dog; Beating it off. God, don't you guys know anything?Cartman
I think my boy does need to learn about sexual educationfrom the school.Sheila
Ms. Choksondick: Here's a little picture of Herpes...
(She shows the picture and the girls scream.)
Ms. Choksondick: And here's a little Syphilis for you...
(She shows another picture and the girls scream again.)
Ms. Choksondick: That's right; unless you get your boyfriends to wear condums, you can AND will get these diseases!
Cartman: That's right! You stay out!
Stan: You can't keep us out forever, you f[bleep]ing fatass! We'll be back as soon as Kyle's hemorrhoid is better!
Stan: Dude can you loan me 20 bucks for a new jacket?
Cartman: Ha! If you need money you can get a job Stan. No freeloaders are gonna take my hard earned cash.
Kyle: Your grandma left it to you, you didn't earn it!
Cartman: Didn't earn it? What about all those years I spent making grandma like me? All the wet spit filled kisses I put up with. The constant smell of asprin and pee. Don't tell me I didn't earn it you son of a bitch!
Executor: (reading will) For you, Eric, I leave from my life savings, the sum of one million dollars, to be transferred to you immediately.
(playing with a Jennifer Lopez doll)
Stan: There you are, Jennifer Lopez! You've been most uncooperative, Ms. Lopez.
Kyle: (voicing Jennifer Lopez) No, please! I promise I'll never make another album or movie!
Stan: It's too late for that, Ms. Lopez.
Kyle: (voicing Jennifer Lopez) Have mercy!
(to God) Why? How could you do this? There are people starving in Alabama and, and you give Cartman a million dollars?Kyle
I'm afraid that the hemorrhoid has spread to his lungs.Doctor