South Park

South Park Season 5 Quotes (Page 6)

Season 5 Episode 8: "Towelie"

Stan: Ok guys focus; it looks like this is going to be an underwater level.
Towelie: (high; slurred) Don't forget to bring a towel.
(the boys laugh)
Cartman: You're the worst character ever, Towelie.
Towelie: I know.
 • Rating: Unrated

Stan: Come on, Towelie. The guy said you have the entry code in your memory bank!
Towelie: Hey, it's been a long time...
Cartman: You just have no long-term memory, because you get high all the time!
Towelie: Don't preach to me, fatso!
Cartman: I can preach to you all I want, because you're stupid!
Towelie: YOU'RE stupid!
Cartman: Yeah, well, you're a towel!
Towelie: YOU'RE a towel!
 • Rating: Unrated

Cartman: You are the worst character ever, Towelie.
Towelie: I know.
 • Rating: Unrated

Gamesphere: OKAMA GAMESPHERE!
 • Rating: Unrated

Stan: Okay! That's it! Brake angrily Kenny!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Towelie: Oh man
Stan: What?
Towelie: I am so high right nowI have no idea what's going on.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Towelie: Just let me get high. I know I can remember if I get high.
 • Rating: Unrated

Stan: Jesus, is Cartman still in the bathroom?
Kyle: Hey Cartman! We're almost to level 20! Are you giving birth in there or what?
Cartman: Let a man take a crap.
Stan: Dude, he's in there punishing my toilet.
Kyle: Yeah, that poor, poor thing.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

(Cartman talking about the tampon to Sharon)
Cartman: I don't think it's for using, I think it's just for looking through.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cartman: This is like finding trash-can gold you guys!
 • Rating: Unrated

Kyle: (to Stan about the Gamesphere) Wow, dude. You're the luckiest kid in South Park.
Cartman: Hey, this is all of ours! I'm the one who found Stan's aborted brother in the trash can and blackmailed his mom into getting the Gamesphere!
 • Rating: Unrated

Stan: It's Saturday at 2:30 that means we have39 hours to play game-sphere until school on Monday.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kyle: (talking to his mom on the phone) Yea mom, I can't go to the lake. No, Stan's having emotional problems and I need to help Stan through it. He's got (asks Cartman) What is it?
Cartman: Date-rape psychosis.
Kyle: Date-rape something. YeaOkI willOk, thanks mom.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kyle: I don't have to go to the lake!
Cartman: Awesome!
Kyle:She says that's fine, but I still have to go to baseball practice.
Stan: Oh yeah, we've got baseball practice tonight. Goddamn it!
Cartman: We shouldn't have this many responsibilities. We're children!
Stan: It's alright we can still play for 6 more hours, and then we can go play baseball.
Towelie: (walks in) Don't forget to bring a towel!
Kyle: Oh, no.
Towelie : When you're playing sports, the sweat can get in your face. That's why Towelie says "Always keep an extra towel in your duffel bag".
Stan: Okay, we will.
Towelie: All right! (pauses) You wanna get high?
Kyle: No, we don't want to get high.
Towelie: Oh. Okay... Are you sure?
Cartman: Yes! Go away, you stupid towel!
(Towelie walks away.)
Stan: Oh, dude did you see that? I just cut off your face and ate it!
Cartman: That's so cool!
 • Rating: Unrated

Kyle: Real life is so boring and stupid!
 • Rating: Unrated

Military Leader: Hello, boys. How are you doing?
Stan: Fine.
Military Leader: Say, boys, this may sound a little odd, but Have you seen a talking towel around anywhere?
Kyle: What? You mean Towelie?
Military Leader: (speaks into the two-way radio) Echo, this is Garrett. I've got a Code 5 in (checks map) Park County, Colorado. I repeat, Code 5, Park County, Colorado.
Cartman: What, dude?
(The Military Leader and soldier drive away.)
Stan: Dude, this is gonna be one long ass day
 • Rating: Unrated

Kyle: What has this world come to? Where people can just take your Okama Game-Sphere.
 • Rating: Unrated

Military official: Destroy all towels within a thousand mile radius.
 • Rating: Unrated

Towelie: I can't remember. It all looks the same. Hang on, let me get high. Then I'll remember where it is. (Towelie gets high.)
Stan: Alright, so where is it?
Towelie: Where's what?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

(Mr. Garrison walks out of a shower with a towel around him. The military barges into the room.)
Military official: Get it!
Mr. Garrison: What the...? (gets pinned to the wall as his towel is taken off)
Military official: Throw it down!
Mr. Garrison: Oh, alright! Have your way with me if you must... Go on, fulfill your sick pleasures!
(The military destroys the towel and leaves.)
Military official: Alright, lets go!
Mr. Garrison: Where are you going?
 • Rating: Unrated

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