Favorite That 70's Show Quotes
Kelso: Autumn is harvest time for the farmer. At dawn, my dad and I were out in the fields, picking carrots fresh off the trees.
Hyde: Kelso, carrots don't... that's good, you should put that down.
Fez: How much masturbation is too much?
Hyde: No such thing as too much, Fez.
(Laurie is folding clothes in the basement; she bends over)
Fez: Holy Mother!
Kelso (nervously): Hello, Laurie.
Laurie: Hello, Kelso, Hyde.
Fez: Who's the goddess?
Kelso: The goddess is Eric's sister.
Hyde: She's not a goddess, she's more the earth mother whore type, which works for me.
(waiting for Eric and wondering where he is)
Kelso: Maybe we should check the school morgue.
Hyde: Kelso, the school doesn't have a morgue.
Kelso: Then what do we pay all those taxes for?
Hyde: You know what kills me? You do better in school than I do.
What are you going to put on your resume, 'Dumbass'?
</i> Red
Kitty: Honey, I put some sandwiches in your duffel bag. Now, um, why do you need such a big bag of oregano?
Eric: Donna's Italian.
Kelso: What happened to your dad's hair?
Donna: He got a permanent.
Kelso: So that's permanent?
Hyde: I'm going to write an awesome slogan like "I hate the fuzz" on my ass!
Fez: If you hate the fuzz on your ass, why don't you just shave it off?
Fez: She [Jackie] will crush him [Kelso], yes?
Hyde: Like the spirit of your Mayan forefathers.
Fez (laughing): My forefathers were not Mayan.
Hyde: Like anyone cares.
Red: Oh and uh, here's a 20.
Laurie: Will that cover for gas?
Kitty: Oh well, honey, give her another 10 just in case.
Eric: You know, I could use some gas money.
Red (laughs): Yeah... and if a frog had wings, it wouldn't bump its ass when it hops.
Why are you guys all sitting on one side of the table, huh?
Jackie
Oh, Laurie, I remembered I can't loan you the Vista Cruiser on account of I hate you.
Eric
