Cop #2: Which one of you is Eric Forman?
Eric: Oh, that's me.
Cop #2: Wait a second... is your father Red Forman?
Eric (nervously): Yes.
Cop #2: You poor bastard!

Red: You were screwing around. You backed into a hydrant. I can see the paint marks!
Eric: No! And by no I mean exactly. But it wasn't my fault sir, Kelso was giving me a...
Red: A what?
Eric: Kelso was giving me a purple-nurple. It's when you grab someone's nipple through their shirt and twist it really hard... until it becomes purple.

Kitty: Honey, I put some sandwiches in your duffel bag. Now, um, why do you need such a big bag of oregano?
Eric: Donna's Italian.

I am so cold. The snow has stolen my manhood.


Gus: So tell me, did it hurt?
Kelso: What?
Gus: When you fell down from heaven!
Kelso: No, I'm fine.

Could one of you put his pants on?


I am a winter nymph! I love the snow! Hooray America! (he passes out in the snow)


Mmm! Liquid candy!

</i> Fez

Nothing says Christmas like a big green Grinch ass!


Red: I want you to pick out this year's tree. And whatever you don't spend, you can use for your party.
Eric: Look, Dad, you know how much I hate haggling with those tree...
Red: Haggling is part of being an adult. Here's 40 dollars.
Eric: I want 50.
Red: Knock it off!

(Donna is reaching up to trim the top of the Christmas tree)
Donna: Guys, how does that look?
(Hyde and Eric look at Donna's butt)
Hyde: That's great.
Eric: Yeah, that's fabulous, great.

Ah, come on, Hyde, did you have to write your name in the snow so close to the tree?


That 70's Show Quotes

What are you going to put on your resume, 'Dumbass'?

</i> Red

Eric: If my dad catches me copping beers he'll kill me.
Hyde: I'm willing to take that risk.