Jackie: Look, I need to talk to someone. I can really use a friend right now.
Eric: Okay then well, good luck with that.

Kitty (to Eric): Foreplay is very important.
Red: Oh, no it's not.
Kitty (to Red): Yes, it is.

Jackie: So Donna, tell me more about this pill. Does it do anything weird to your hair?
Donna: Only above your lip.

Jackie: Now I can forget about this whole ugly thing and never ever have to--
Donna (while shaking her violently): Jackie, I am not gonna let you forget about this!

What could be so important that you'd give up a week of whoring around Fort Lauderdale? Oh, I know. It's your grades, right? You're flunking out. Bingo! Forman scores, right?


Jackie: I can't believe you, Michael.
Kelso: What?
Jackie: You can't just maul me in front of my father!
Kelso: I bet he didn't even notice.
Jackie: He yelled at you to stop it.
Kelso: I thought he was yelling at you.

Fez: How much masturbation is too much?
Hyde: No such thing as too much, Fez.

Red: Damn good thing I went with him. He wanted to buy a leisure suit.
Eric: Come on, Dad. Leisure suits are cool. Everybody wears them.
Red: Leisure suits are for dumbasses. Believe me.
(Bob walks in wearing a leisure suit)

If I miss that 20 midget free-for-all, I'm going to be super pissed.

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