That 70's Show Quotes
Donna (to Jackie and Kelso): Finally. Where have you guys been?
Kelso: We had to look for the paper, and eat, and then some stuff happened, you know.
Eric: Your shirt's on inside out.
Kelso: Yeah, that's the stuff.
Eric, I love your grandmother very, very much. I just can't talk to her or spend any time with her.
Red
Kitty: Eric, what are you doing? It's one o'clock in the morning.
Eric: I'm just finishing up some homework. What are you doing down here?
Kitty: Oh, well, Snow White came down to gun a stick. (Kitty lights a cigarette)
Jackie: Donna! Stairs are not gonna stop a high school horndog. Barbed wire will not stop a high school horndog. A wall of fire will not stop a high--
Donna: Jackie, I get it, I get it.
(Donna leaves after finding out that Eric kissed Laurie's friend, Kate)
Kelso: I guess Donna didn't take it very well.
Red: Take what well?
Kelso: Eric made out with Kate.
Red: Anything else?
Fez: Your son is a whore!
(playing a KISS record backwards)
Mr. Erdman: There it is!... Devil loved me, Devil lives! It's clear as day! (Fez laughs) What's funny?
Fez: In my language, the record just said, 'I want to sex your monkey!'...Which I have never done!
I understand everybody wants their first makeout to be special, in some place romantic like Ireland or Disney World!
Jackie
Red: Kelso, stop saying "porno."
Kelso: I didn't say it, Mr. Forman, Fez did.
Fez: You are a bitch.
Oh no, Dick Tracy is trapped in a giant clam! Farewell sweet Dick!
Fez
Kelso: Eric, The Omen's playing in the drive-in! You know what this means for us?... It's make-out city!
Eric: I really like you as a friend Kelso... Can I bring a girl?
Red: Forman, party of two.
Hostess: Okey dokey, that'll be about two hours.
Red: Here's twenty bucks.
Hostess: Okay, we'll have something in fifteen minutes.
Red: You don't want this place to burn down twice do you?
Hostess: Okay, we have something right now.
Red: I thought so. Well, it looks like it's our lucky night.
Fez: I am telling you. I heard it. The devil is singing backwards on the record!
Hyde: It's not the devil, man! It's congress. They passed a secret law to put backward messages in our records, man! They wanna kill rock 'n roll because they know it makes us horny, man!
Eric: Doesn't pretty much everything make us horny? (stuffs a Twinkie in his mouth)
Kelso: Cartoons make me horny! Oh, and food!
