Leonard: So, I've got a gunshot wound. That's pretty bad-ass.
Penny: No, you've got a Reebok with a gunshot wound and an ouchie on your pinky toe.

I can't believe I bought my soul mate at Glendale Galleria.

Raj

Bernadette: Who's Siri? Is he dating someone new?
Howard: Yes. His phone.
Bernadette: Is that cute? Or, creepy?

Can you be more specific on how my eyebrows are "stupid." No, never mind. It's right here.

Leonard

Raj: I'd like for you to call me sexy.
Siri: [chimes]From now on, I'll call you sexy. Okay?
Raj: Okay!

Her heart's full of love, no one cares what's in her mouth.

Amy

It's color-coded. Red means "fix right away" Yellow is "eh, whenever you get a chance." And, green is "I could probably learn to live with it."

Leonard

She is gonna break his heart.

Howard

[Chuckles] Look at that. There's finally a women in your life you can talk to

Howard

Raj: Whoa! What's your hurry, cowboy? Savor the moment.
[Raj and Howard slowly remove the plastic off Raj's new iPhone 4s]
Howard: Oh, yeah.

Cut! [sighs] Take 47.

Sheldon

Penny: You mean like a beta test?
Leonard: Well, technically, this would be an alpha test. A beta test requires people that weren't involved in the development of the appli....
Penny: Seriously, do I not get credit for knowing beta test?
Leonard: No, absolutely you should.

The Big Bang Theory Season 5 Episode 14 Quotes

Penny: You mean like a beta test?
Leonard: Well, technically, this would be an alpha test. A beta test requires people that weren't involved in the development of the appli....
Penny: Seriously, do I not get credit for knowing beta test?
Leonard: No, absolutely you should.

Leonard: I missed you.
Penny: You see me all the time. You sure you don't just miss the sex?
Leonard: Well, yeah, the sex with you is pretty great. Have you ever tried it?
Penny: I have. You're not wrong.