The Big Bang Theory

Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBS
The big bang theory
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Well, that all stinks. No wonder you all got cancelled. Bye.

Sheldon

I do have a pretty balls-to-the-wall moisturizing regime.

Raj

No wrapper's gonna tell me what to do, unless it's Jay-Z.

Raj

Raj's girlfriend: Who's your favorite player?
Raj: Not Brian Boitano, that's for sure.

Amy: Missed one. Now your wish can't come true.
Sheldon: Lucky for you because I wished you were dead.

I've got to go be more butch. Tootles.

Raj

However long you think the foreplay should be, triple it.

Howard

Sheldon: You don't know what it's like to feel completely frustrated. To have a-a desire build up within you and be denied any opportunity for release.
Amy: Yeah. Sounds like a drag.

Amy: All I'm saying is we live in a world where closure isn't always an op...
Sheldon: ...tion. Okay.

Howard: So take what's in that blog and use it to get her pants off.
Raj: Why do you have to make everything so filthy? Why couldn't you just say the blog is like her giving me the key to her heart?
Howard: The key to her heart. That's nice. Were you quoting someone or is it tattooed on the small of your back?
Raj: I was quoting a man who knows a thing or two about women: Sir Elton John.

Amy: I'm sorry you're upset. You know, Sheldon, sometimes people seek the comfort of physical contact in moments like this.
Sheldon: I am not flying back to Texas just so my mom can give me a hug.

Howard: People change names on blogs to protect their privacy. Roger is Raj.
Raj: Oh, I always thought, if I had a white name, it would be Gavin.

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