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The-big-bang-theory

Howard: So take what's in that blog and use it to get her pants off.
Raj: Why do you have to make everything so filthy? Why couldn't you just say the blog is like her giving me the key to her heart?
Howard: The key to her heart. That's nice. Were you quoting someone or is it tattooed on the small of your back?
Raj: I was quoting a man who knows a thing or two about women: Sir Elton John.

Amy: I'm sorry you're upset. You know, Sheldon, sometimes people seek the comfort of physical contact in moments like this.
Sheldon: I am not flying back to Texas just so my mom can give me a hug.

Howard: People change names on blogs to protect their privacy. Roger is Raj.
Raj: Oh, I always thought, if I had a white name, it would be Gavin.

Mummy was right. American girls are sexually voracious devils.

Raj

Raj: I can see my little princess while I'm at work, right?
Howard: Why can't you just watch porn like a normal guy?

If they didn't want to be yelled at by crazy nerds, they shouldn't have started a sci-fi channel.

Leonard

They can't just cancel a show like Alphas. You know? They have to help the viewers let go. Firefly did a movie to wrap things up. Buffy the Vampire Slayer continued on as a comic book. Heroes gradually lowered the quality season by season till we were grateful it ended.

Sheldon

Sheldon: Why would the Chinese make our DVR record Paul Blart: Mall Cop?
Leonard: I don't know. It's a fat guy on a Segway. That's funny everywhere.

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