Penny: I hate her.
Emily: I hate her.

• Permalink: I hate her.
• Added: October 06, 2014

Leonard: Hold on. So, your idea is to get a van and cruise the streets looking for kids to pick up?
Guys: Yes.
Leonard: And are you gonna use candy to lure them in?
Raj: We are now!

• Permalink: We are now!
• Added: October 06, 2014

Penny: Well, I wouldn't exactly call it a hook-up.
Emily: Did you kiss?
Penny: Yeah.
Emily: Were you naked?
Penny: Yeah.
Emily: So, it was a hook-up.

• Permalink: So, it was a hook-up.
• Added: October 06, 2014

Sheldon: I'll give you a plan right now. Step one: open comic book store.
Step two: start rumor this comic book store gives you genital warts.
Step three: buy a big bag to put the money in.
Leonard: It's not that bad.

• Permalink: It's not that bad.
• Added: October 06, 2014

Howard: All I know is, he's got my mother buying four-ply toilet paper. I mean, four-ply. If his butt is so delicate,why doesn't he just use an angora rabbit?
Sheldon: For starters, they shed and bite.

• Permalink: For starters, they shed and bite.
• Added: October 06, 2014

Sheldon: I have some odd freckles on my buttocks. Can I make an appointment for you to look at them?
Emily: Um... okay, I guess.
Amy: I'm with him three years, nothing. She's with two minutes, and he's taking his pants off.

• Permalink: I'm with him three years, nothing. She's with two minutes, and he's taking his pants off.
• Added: October 06, 2014

Raj: Since when do you read Social Science?
Sheldon: I go to the bathroom like everybody else.

• Permalink: I go to the bathroom like everybody else.
• Added: October 06, 2014

Leonard: What? You're afraid of both dinosaurs and chickens.
Sheldon: Yes, but tell me a dinosaur chicken salad sandwich wouldn't hit the Mesozoic spot.

• Permalink: Yes, but tell me a dinosaur chicken salad sandwich wouldn't hit the Mesozoic spot.
• Added: October 06, 2014