The Big Bang Theory

Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
The big bang theory

Oh, it's okay. I have no morals and I'm desperately lonely. I'll be the other man if you want a little something-something on the side.

Do you have any idea what it's like to wait for years and never know if you're going to finally get satisfaction?

Sheldon

Sweetie ... every night you don't kill him in his sleep, he wins.

Penny

Howard: If I may, he has so little self-respect and is so desperate for the smallest crumb of affection, she could literally sleep with his own father in his own bed and post the video to YouTube, and he'd still buy her flowers and ask her to be his bride.
Raj: He's right.

Why is the key always confidence? How come it's never love handles and flop sweat?

Raj

Sheldon: It's great you're here. I'd love to get an engineer's opinion.
Howard: Sure.
Sheldon: This chair is squeaky. Now, do I fix it or get a new one?

Gentlemen, please. Leonard is trying to walk a mile in my metaphorical shoes. He can't walk in my actual shoes. He has the feet of a toddler.

Sheldon

I may be a bad waitress, but you're a bad person. Now, want to hear the specials?

Penny

How those nipples feeling, chief?

Sheldon

How about this? I promise I won't pester you about the DVD. You can defecate in peace. That's a win for both of us. Until this matter is resolved, I would like you to wear this sweater ... with nothing underneath it.

Sheldon

Leonard: How about that? Sheldon's being reasonable.
Penny: Yeah, it's freaking me out. I'm gonna go.

Leonard: I'm gonna show you what's in the box, but just ... promise not to flip out.
Sheldon: Why would I flip out? Is it a spider? It's a spider.
Penny: No, if it was a spider, Lenny would've flipped out.

Displaying all 12 quotes

The Big Bang Theory Season 7 Episode 8 Quotes

Leonard: How about that? Sheldon's being reasonable.
Penny: Yeah, it's freaking me out. I'm gonna go.

Leonard: I'm gonna show you what's in the box, but just ... promise not to flip out.
Sheldon: Why would I flip out? Is it a spider? It's a spider.
Penny: No, if it was a spider, Lenny would've flipped out.

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