Leonard [about his mother]: She's only been here a day and a half, and I'm seriously considering alcoholism as a new career path.
Penny: Hey, I talked to her for five minutes yesterday, and I've been half bombed ever since.

• Permalink: She's only been here a day and a half, and I'm seriously conside...
• Added: February 10, 2009

At that age, he was well enmeshed in what Freud would call the Phallic Stage of psycho-sexual development; an outmoded theory, of course, but the boy did spend most of his waking hours with a tight grasp on his penis

Mrs. Hofstadter [describing Leonard at age 6]

• Permalink: At that age, he was well enmeshed in what Freud would call the P...
• Added: February 10, 2009

Penny: What was Leonard like when he was little?
Mrs. Hofstadter: Oh, I think you mean "young." He's always been little.

• Permalink: What was Leonard like when he was little? Oh, I think you mean...
• Added: February 10, 2009

Penny [about his mom]: You can't let her get into your head
Leonard: It's too late for me, my head is her summer house

• Permalink: You can't let her get into your head It's too late for me, my ...
• Added: February 10, 2009

Mrs. Hofstadter [about Penny]: If you want to have sex with that woman, find out what kind of cologne her father wore
Leonard: Hello mother

• Permalink: If you want to have sex with that woman, find out what kind of c...
• Added: February 10, 2009