Mine was great. I'm going to be a mommy.

Sheldon

I am such an asthmatic dumbass.

Leonard

Get back here, you stupid bird, so I can love you!

Sheldon

If you're keeping him, I've got a cage you can borrow. One of the test monkeys slipped on a banana peel and broke his neck. It was both tragic and hysterical.

Amy

Trust me, if I had a death ray, I wouldn't be living here. I'd be in my lair enjoying the money the people of Earth gave me for not using my death ray.

Sheldon

Sheldon: Hummingbirds are the vampires of the flower world.
Raj: Still my first choice for an ankle tattoo. Or, a dolphin -- I go back and forth.

Raj: Come on, Sheldon, Star Wars.
Howard: I'm pushing play. I mean it. If we don't start soon, George Lucas is going to change it again.

Tickets are 11 bucks. Not a date.

Leonard

Leonard: No. You always picked and it was always the same. An hour and a half of beach houses in the rain until the woman turns around and realizes love was here all along.
Penny: But, come on, that was a great movie and it starts in ten minutes.

Leonard: Too casual?
Sheldon: For an audience with the queen, yes. For an evening of passing a bottle of fortified wine around a flaming trash can, you look great.

Leonard: I'm going to the movies with Penny. I don't want her to think I think it's a date
Sheldon: Do you think it's a date?
Leonard: No, but she might think I think it's a date even though I don't.
Sheldon: Or you might think she thinks you think it's a date even though she doesn't.
Leonard: Are we over thinking this?
Sheldon: Not at all.

Penny: And,remember he's more afraid of you than you are of him.
Sheldon: That doesn't help.
Penny: No, I was talking to the bird.

The Big Bang Theory Season 5 Episode 9 Quotes

Penny: And,remember he's more afraid of you than you are of him.
Sheldon: That doesn't help.
Penny: No, I was talking to the bird.

Leonard: Star Wars on Blu-ray.
Penny: Haven't you seen that movie like a thousand times?
Leonard: Not on Blu-ray. Only twice on Blu-ray.
Penny: Oh, Leonard.
Leonard: I know, it's high resolution sadness.