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The-big-bang-theory

Amy: Well, Howard's never gonna go to space again, but Sheldon will always be a genius.
Bernadette: You're right. And, I'm sure Sheldon will get a fancy parking spot again if and when he makes a worthwhile contribution to science.
Amy: If and when?

Amy: At some point, they're bound to lock horns.
Penny: I'm assuming these are some kind of horns they bought at Comic-Con?

Sheldon: Leonard, you're my best friend. Why don't you ever take my side.
Leonard: Because I can never understand your side!

Well, that's some salty language. May I remind you that you're the president of a major university, not president of the Potty Mouth Club. There it is again. Do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Oh, I'm sorry for your loss. Good night, sir.

Sheldon

Howard: Meanwhile, you still don't have a car.
Sheldon: Don't try to change the subject. This is about a parking space. It has nothing to do with cars.

Raj: Mummies and zombies are the exact same thing.
Leonard: Oh yeah. Mummies are wrapped in bandages.
Raj: That's called a fashion choice.

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