At this point, I'm just glad that I get to ride down the stairs.

Professor Proton

And, the puppeteer, who did Gino, well, he also ... did my wife.

Professor Proton

Professor Proton: I'm having trouble with my pacemaker.
Leonard: I'll call for help.
Penny: Any chance we could plug it into the potato?
Professor Proton: No.

Penny: If you don't mind me asking, uh, the potato clock -- how does it work? Is it a trick clock or a trick potato?
Professor Proton [to Leonard]: What do you two talk about?

Professor Proton: I power a clock with a potato.
Penny: Shut up! You can do that? I mean ... wouldn't that solve the world's energy crisis?
Professor Proton: No.

Howard: When this all blows over, remember that voice. It's kind of a turn-on.
Bernadette: It turns you on when I sound like Raj?

I'm ... I'm awake, right? This is happening?

Professor Proton

You-you two are-are physicists, and-and want me to do a children's science show?

Professor Proton

Professor Proton: Is the blond girl really your girlfriend?
Leonard: Yes, sir.
Professor Proton: You're the genius.

Professor Proton: Just- just call me Arthur.
Sheldon: Leonard ... Did you hear that? Professor Proton said I should call him Arthur. That means we're friends.

Howard: Son of a bitch, she's gone.
Bernadette: Where'd she go?
Howard: I don't know. She didn't leave a note.
Bernadette: You were the one who was supposed to put her back in the stroller!
Howard: No, I wasn't! You were!
Bernadette: No, I wasn't!
Howard: Yes, you were!
Bernadette: Well, you throw like a girl.

Sheldon: Leonard?
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: I still can't sleep.

The Big Bang Theory Season 6 Episode 22 Quotes

Howard: Why don't you put her in a kennel?
Raj: Why don't you put your mother in a home?
Howard: To be honest, she'd do better in the kennel.

Leonard: It was pretty cool.
Penny: Aw, so cute when you use the word "cool" wrong. Like when kids say "pasghetti."