The Big Bang Theory

The Big Bang Theory "The Santa Simulation" Quotes

Santa: Ho, ho, ho, you big dork!
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Leonard: Okay, so Wolowitz and Stuart are paralyzed, Santa's dead, and I picked this over sex with my girlfriend.
 • Rating: Unrated

Amy: You think that's bad. In college, I passed out at a frat party and woke up with more clothes on.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leonard: I grew up in a house full of crazy academics. Instead of leaving Santa milk and cookies, we had to leave him a research paper. And, in the morning you could tell he'd been there because that paper would be graded.
Sheldon: No wonder you love Christmas. That sounds amazing.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Raj: I bought her a couple drinks and she gave me her email address.
Bernadette: "jennifer@notevenifyourethelastguyonearth.loser"
 • Rating: Unrated

Raj: Wait, doesn't anyone have a-a Rod of Resurrection? If you've got one, I need it bad. Get in here with your rod and give it to me.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Stuart: What's wrong with Christmas?
Sheldon: Where to begin? Trees indoors, overuse of the words "tis" and "twas," and the absurd custom of one stocking. Everyone notice socks belong in pairs. Who uses one sock?
Howard: A pirate with a peg leg.
Sheldon: Actually, that helps. Thank you.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Howard: You see, I have to play Dungeons and Dragons ... for the marriage.
Bernadette: You're an idiot.
Howard: I'm your idiot.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Amy: By rolling dice and playing make believe with little figurines?
Sheldon: Like a bunch of savages.
 • Rating: Unrated

Penny: Is having a real-life girlfriend that has sex with you getting in the way of your board games.
Leonard: A little bit, yeah.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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