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Leonard: Oh, you do what you want, but I don't want to lose my friends over tenure. Friends are forever.
Howard [coughing]: So, is tenure.

Sheldon: Are you implying my girlfriend doesn't have any sexuality to exploit?
Raj: Yes
Sheldon: Okay, because that was not clear.

Way to hit'em with both barrels.

Leonard [to Penny]

Seriously, is that tape? Like, how are they staying up like that?


You're all wasting your time. Sheldon is the most qualified for the job, and no amount of gravity-defying bosom's going to change that.


Well, that's a fine how-do-you-do. Don't just stand there. Take your breasts out.

Sheldon [to Amy]

Leonard: You realize you might kill some of them.
Penny: Oh, then you all can get tenure.

Mrs. Davis: Roots?
Sheldon: The tragic history of slavery in America. Fun for the whole family.
Mrs. Davis: Why would you think this is an appropriate gift?
Sheldon: Umm. Well ... You are black, right?

Sheldon Cooper doesn't do cozy.

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