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Raj: I know. Being an astrophysicist right now is like being a rock star.
Howard: Only without the sex.
Raj: Yeah, literally, none of it.
- Permalink: Yeah, literally, none of it.
Amy: Y-You'll feel better after you eat.
Amy: What-what do you want, like, Thai food? A... a burger?
Sheldon: I don't know!
- Permalink: You'll feel better after you eat
Emily: How serious were you two?
Raj: Well, to be honest, we only went on four dates, hugged twice, kissed once, and there was a handshake loaded with sexual innuendo.
Emily: Wait, so... a girl you never slept with sent you an e-mail and you felt so guilty about it that you had to tell me?
Emily: That's kind of adorable.
- Permalink: That's kind of adorable.
That was Wil -- he's feeling a lot better. Apparently, he's 12-down in the TV Guide crossword puzzle.Leonard
Sheldon: Quick poll: PS4 or Xbox One? Raj.
Raj: Uh, Xbox One.
Howard: Both great.
Bernadette: I like the Wii.
Sheldon: Thanks, Grandma
- Permalink: Thanks, Grandma
Penny: Okay, look, here, page 58. I oil-wrestle an orangutan
in a bikini.
Leonard: Just to clarify, which one of you is wearing the bikini?
Penny: Both of us.
Leonard: So it's a family film.
- Permalink: So it's a family film.
Penny: Next time I get pulled over for a speeding ticket, here come the waterworks.
Sheldon [running to bathroom]: Here come the waterworks!
Leonard: Aren't you gonna ask?
Penny: What is this, my first day?
- Permalink: What is this, my first day?
Sheldon: Boy, do I have to urinate.
Leonard: If only there were a solution
Sheldon: Seriously. I feel like I've got
a fish tank in my pelvis.
- Permalink: Seriously. I feel like I've got a fish tank in my pelvis.
Sheldon: ... now you're going to need a stronger friend named latex.
Mrs. Cooper: Are you having the sex talk with me?
Sheldon: Well someone has to.
Mrs. Cooper: Oh, dear Lord!
Sheldon: Yeah, well... No, don't look at him, he's mad at you right now.
- Permalink: Yeah, well... No, don't look at him, he's mad at you right now.
Sheldon: Then why are you doing it?
Mrs. Cooper: Because I'm not perfect, Shelly. And that man's booty is.
- Permalink: Because I'm not perfect, Shelly. And that man's booty is.
I love my mother. Even if she fornicates like a demonic weasel.Sheldon
- Permalink: I love my mother. Even if she fornicates like a demonic weasel.
Apparently any man is welcome in his house, why not you?Sheldon
- Permalink: Apparently any man is welcome in his house, why not you?