The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSThe Big Bang Theory Quotes
Leonard, when that woman moved in three years ago, I told you not to talk to her, and now look, we're going to be late to the movies.
Sheldon
But if she dumps you, she'll have a new boyfriend by tomorrow morning, and you'll have a new girlfriend when you figure out how to build one.
Wolowitz
That seems like an awful lot of trouble to go through for intercourse. Don't you have access to women who will do it for money?
Sheldon
Sheldon: Is that what you're wearing to watch football over at Penny's?
Leonard: What's wrong with a football jersey?
Sheldon: Nothing. That, however, appears to be a football cocktail dress.
If you're interested, I also know all about frying meat that isn't chicken as if it were chicken
Sheldon
Wolowitz: Sheldon knows football?
Leonard: Apparently.
Wolowitz: I mean, Quidditch, sure. But football?
Raj: The only thing I've learned in the last two hours is that American men love drinking beer, pee too often, and have trouble getting erections.
Leonard: Focus on the game, not the commercials, Raj.
Raj: I'm just saying, maybe if you people cut back on the beer, you could get out of the bathroom and satisfy your women without pharmaceutical help.
Raj: You always do this, you know. You ditch me for a woman you have no shot with
Wolowitz: I totally had a shot
Raj: With a woman you were chasing through a park? That's not a shot, that's a felony
Wolowitz: I would have caught up to her if I didn't pull my hammy
Raj: Oh please, you weigh 80 pounds, you don't have a hammy
Leonard just realized that Penny's been hiding him from her friends because he's a tiny little man who flies kites
Raj
Wolowitz: Do you like role playing games?
Bernadette: Like in the bedroom or dungeons and dragons?
Wolowitz: Either?
Bernadette: No
Sheldon: I came here to defeat Wil Wheaton: the man who destroyed my dreams, but I can't destroy Wil Wheaton: the man who loved his mee-maw
