The Big Bang Theory

Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
The big bang theory
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Sheldon: *whines*
Penny: You want to come with me?
Sheldon: Really?
Penny: Come on boy! Come on! Let's go!

Howard: A mineral and rock show? That would be awful even without Bert.
Amy: So what am I supposed to do now?
Raj: Prepare your uterus for his gigantic offspring

Amy: I'm just going to go find him and be brutally honest.
Raj: He'll be so upset. He'll probably climb up the Empire State Building and start swatting at planes.

Sheldon: I've read that there are great yogis who have such mastery over their bodies they can draw water in through their genitals.
Penny: Yeah well I don't think we're going to get to do that today.
Sheldon: Too bad. Seems like a good way to drink a milkshake without getting brain freeze

Leonard: Can we please have some privacy?
Sheldon: No. I'm as much a part of this relationship as you two. And I think it's high time we put all our cards on the table. For example, where is this going? Are you two ever getting married? And if so, where will we all live? Have you thought about that?

Leonard: Listen. I could never do what you're doing. I'd be terrified.
Penny: Well it's scary for me too.
Sheldon: I'm fine with it.
Leonard: My point is: just because I couldn't do it doesn't mean you shouldn't. And I'm proud of you.
Penny: Okay. Thank you.

Jessie: You're back.
Bernadette: Yes I am. There are a few more things I want to say to you. Stuart's store is just fine, and he's a much nicer person than you are, and if you still have that comic I'd like to buy it right now.
Jessie: No problem. You want a latte while you wait?
Bernadette: No I don't want a latte. I want a cappuccino and a blueberry scone.
Jessie: I only have chocolate chip.
Bernadette: Well that sounds even better.

Penny: Let's get married?
Leonard: What?
Penny: Leonard Hofstadter, will you marry me?
Leonard: Um....
Penny: Did you seriously just say "Umm..."?

I took a temp job as a waitress forever ago and I can't quit, because guess what? I can't do anything else.

Penny

Howard: Fake a laugh? Do you ever do that with me?
Bernadette: No, of course not.
Howard: Well, I'd be able to tell anyway.
Bernadette: I don't think you would.
Howard: Please, I've made plenty of girls laugh, sometimes just by asking them out.
Bernadette: [Laughs]
Howard: Yeah, well, I fake my orgasms.

Leonard: Can we talk?
Penny: We can, but the part of "Penny" might get cut.

You didn't get your part cut. You didn't get your part cut. Yep. A bunch of old guys rockinig out in a band, all with erectile dysfunction, you didn't get your part cut!"

Displaying quotes 181 - 192 of 1565 in total

TBBT Quotes

Leonard: Hi. I'm Leonard. You are beautiful. You pop, sparkle and buzz electric. I'm going to pick you up at eight, show you a night you will never forget.
Raj: Where are we going?

Leonard: What? You're afraid of both dinosaurs and chickens.
Sheldon: Yes, but tell me a dinosaur chicken salad sandwich wouldn't hit the Mesozoic spot.

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