The Big Bang Theory

The Big Bang Theory Season 2 Quotes (Page 3)

Season 2 Episode 17: "The Terminator Decoupling"

Wolowitz [to Sumemr Glau]: Hi, I'm the small package good things come in
 • Rating: 4.9 / 5.0

Wolowitz [about Raj]: Normally, around women he has the personality of a boiled potato. Put one beer in him, and he has the personality of M. Knight Charmalarmalon
 • Rating: Unrated

Leonard: Well, it seems once again you're caught between a rock and a crazy place.
Sheldon: Oh, I hate when that happens.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Wolowitz: Unlike you, I can actually talk to women while I'm sober.
Raj: You fail to take into account that even mute, I am foreign and exotic, while you on the other hand, are frail and pasty.
Wolowitz: Well ... you know the old saying: "Pasty and frail, never fail"
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Wolowitz [about Summer Glau]: I have eleven hours with her in a confined space. Unless she's willing to jump off a moving train and tuck and roll down the side of a hill, she will eventually succumb to the acquired taste that is Howard Wolowitz
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 2 Episode 16: "The Cushion Saturation"

Wolowitz: Ma, you gotta rent me a tux!
Mrs. Wolowitz: Right now? What kind of sex are you having up there?
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Wolowitz: Okay. One way to look at this is I'm getting new equipment and you're not, and that's unfair. But a better way to look at this is that I'm getting sex and you're not, and that's delightful!
 • Rating: Unrated

Leslie: Isn't it nice when your good fortune makes others miserable?
Wolowitz: You know, most people don't get that!
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Wolowitz [about his phone call]: Looks like I'm going to have sex tonight
Penny: His right hand is calling him?

 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Penny: I'm from Nebraska. When we shoot things, it's because we want to eat em' or make them leave our boyfriends alone
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leonard: You know what baffles me Sheldon?
Sheldon: Based on your academic record, I could guess any number of things
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Penny: What are we gonna do?
Leonard: We? No, no, no. You had your chance to be "we" for like a year and a half now. Right now, you are you and you are screwed.
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Season 2 Episode 15: "The Maternal Capacitance"

Leonard [about his mother]: She's only been here a day and a half, and I'm seriously considering alcoholism as a new career path.
Penny: Hey, I talked to her for five minutes yesterday, and I've been half bombed ever since.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Mrs. Hofstadter [describing Leonard at age 6]: At that age, he was well enmeshed in what Freud would call the Phallic Stage of psycho-sexual development; an outmoded theory, of course, but the boy did spend most of his waking hours with a tight grasp on his penis
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Penny: What was Leonard like when he was little?
Mrs. Hofstadter: Oh, I think you mean "young." He's always been little.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Penny [about his mom]: You can't let her get into your head
Leonard: It's too late for me, my head is her summer house
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mrs. Hofstadter [about Penny]: If you want to have sex with that woman, find out what kind of cologne her father wore
Leonard: Hello mother
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Season 2 Episode 14: "The Financial Permeability"

Sheldon (singing): There once was a brave lad named Leonard, with a fie fie fiddle dee dee. He faced a fearsome giant while Raj just wanted to pee.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leonard: Okay, is everyone clear on the plan?
Wolowitz: Yes. Koothrappali is going to wet himself, I'm going to throw up, Sheldon is going to run away, and you're going to die. Shall we synchronize our watches?
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Leonard: What was the plan?
Penny: Um, waitress for six months and then become a movie star.
Leonard: Was there a Plan B?
Penny: TV star.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Are we missing your favorite "The Big Bang Theory" quote? Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!