Leonard: You still have a cold?
Raj: Maybe, but I don't care. That's the good thing about NyQuil -- it's like, 10% booze. I call it the "nighttime sniffling, sneezing, coughing, so you can talk to girls medicine."

Leonard: Well, it wasn't my fault.
Sheldon: The implication being that you somehow tripped and fell into her lady parts?

Dr. Plimpton: What if there's a disaster that destroys all of the USB ports?
Sheldon: Then there's really no reason to live, is there?

Leonard: I think any university would want you -- except, of course, any university that had already had you, because they would have already wanted you, before they, you know, got you.
Sheldon: From the mind that brought you "hi-lo."

Dr. Cooper, thank goodness! I completely forgot your address, but then I remembered that I had written it on my hand. Lucky for me, I didn't confuse it with what I had written on my other hand, which were the coordinates for a newly-discovered neutron star, because if I tried to go there, I'd be crushed by hypergravity.

Dr. Plimpton

I have a lady friend who will be staying with me for a few days. I want her to feel at home; I also bought scented soaps, pantyhose, Midol, calcium chews, and what is apparently a yogurt specifically designed to regulate the female bowel.


Leonard: Are you planning on kidnapping a woman?
Sheldon: Sarcasm?
Leonard: Yes, but mixed with a little bit of concern.

Don't let Goofy near him. He'll have nightmares, and I'll have to deal with it


And now, as promised, the tangent. Sheldon and the Hell-hound. Or. How I Lost My Hot Dogs.


Raj: Do you think you'll go to hell for eating sweet and sour pork?
Wolowitz: Jews don't have Hell. We have acid reflux.

Does the elastic woman in "The Incredibles" use birth control or can she actually be a diaphragm.


Allegiance to male comrades before women who sell their bodies for money.


The Big Bang Theory Season 3 Quotes

Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for "soup" tattooed on your right buttock?
Penny: It's not "soup," it's "courage."
Sheldon: No it isn't. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.
Penny: How'd you see it? You said you wouldn't look.
Sheldon: Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.

Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid!
Sheldon: Well that's no reason to cry; one cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid and it makes me sad.