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The-big-bang-theory

Wheaton: Embrace the Dark Side!
Sheldon: That's not even from your franchise!

Can I get you something? A feminine hygiene product or a bowel-regulating yogurt?

Sheldon

Dr. Plimpton, Penny is a waitress who doesn't understand the role gasoline plays in the internal combustion engine.

Sheldon

Go away! She wants New Delhi, not Kosher Deli!

Raj

Leonard: You still have a cold?
Raj: Maybe, but I don't care. That's the good thing about NyQuil -- it's like, 10% booze. I call it the "nighttime sniffling, sneezing, coughing, so you can talk to girls medicine."

Leonard: Well, it wasn't my fault.
Sheldon: The implication being that you somehow tripped and fell into her lady parts?

Dr. Plimpton: What if there's a disaster that destroys all of the USB ports?
Sheldon: Then there's really no reason to live, is there?

Leonard: I think any university would want you -- except, of course, any university that had already had you, because they would have already wanted you, before they, you know, got you.
Sheldon: From the mind that brought you "hi-lo."

Dr. Cooper, thank goodness! I completely forgot your address, but then I remembered that I had written it on my hand. Lucky for me, I didn't confuse it with what I had written on my other hand, which were the coordinates for a newly-discovered neutron star, because if I tried to go there, I'd be crushed by hypergravity.

Dr. Plimpton
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