Leonard: It should go back to Peter Jackson. He made the movies; it belongs to him.
Wolowitz: Fine, he can have it back -- as long as he promises to make me a hobbit in his next movie.
Raj: There are no Jewish hobbits.
Wolowitz: Clearly, you've never been to my house for dinner on Rosh Hashana.

Okay, I'm just to go home and make a grilled cheese sandwich and window shop on eHarmony.

Penny

Here's Mr. T's head on Spock's body. I pity the fool that is illogical.

Leonard

Penny: Who's Adam West?
Sheldon: Who's Adam West!? Leonard, what do you talk about after the coitus?
Wolowitz: My guess is "four minutes, a new record!"

How can I possibly discuss with Stan Lee the scientific foundations for inter-stellar flight on a silver surfboard when part of my brain will be scanning his face for signs of contagious skin disease?

Sheldon

I don't trust banks. I believe that when the robots rise up, ATM's will lead the charge.

Sheldon

Wolowitz: Why do you have all of these unopened paychecks in your desk?
Sheldon: Because most of the things I'm planning to buy haven't been invented yet.

Penny: Sheldon's in jail.
Leonard: What'd he do?
Penny: The same crap he normally does, except to a judge.

Wolowitz: Damn paper cut. Nothing worse than a paper cut!
Raj: Obviously you don't remember your circumcision.

Did he finally write a sequel to his autobiography? I'm sure ages 79 to 87 were just action packed.

Sheldon [about Stan Lee]

Sheldon: I believe you know why I'm here.
Penny: I always figured it was to study us, discover our weaknesses, and report back to your alien overlords.

I'd take Sheldon to Switzerland, absolutely. And I'd leave him there.

Wolowitz

The Big Bang Theory Season 3 Quotes

A neutron walks into a bar and asks, "How much for a drink?" The bartender says, "For you? No charge."

Sheldon

Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid!
Sheldon: Well that's no reason to cry; one cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid and it makes me sad.