The Big Bang Theory

The Big Bang Theory

Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBS

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Season: 6 5 4 3 2 1

The Big Bang Theory Season 3 Quotes (Page 9)

Season 3 Episode 4: "The Pirate Solution"

Wolowitz: Raj, I'm gonna really miss you.
Raj: Will you come visit me?
Wolowitz: 17 hours is a really long flight, how about we meet halfway?
Raj: Halfway is 600 miles off the coast of Japan
Wolowitz: We'll skype

 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
Leonard: I've always been a little confused abut this -- why don't Hindus eat beef?
Raj: We believe cows are gods.
Sheldon: Not technically. In Hinduism cattle are thought to be like gods.
Raj: Do not tell me about my own culture Sheldon! In the mood I'm in I'll take you out, I swear to cow!
 • Rating: 4.9 / 5.0

Season 3 Episode 3: "The Gothowitz Deviation"

Raj: When we tell the story, let's end it differently
Wolowitz: What are you thinking? A big musical number?
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Sheldon: Interesting. Sex works even better than chocolate to modify behavior. I wonder if anyone else has stumbled onto that

 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Sheldon: Leonard, you can't train my girlfriend like a lab rat
Leonard: Actually, it turns out I can
Sheldon: Well you shouldn't
 • Rating: 2.3 / 5.0
Wolowitz [to Raj]: Yes, she's pushy, and yes, he's whipped, but that's not the expression
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0
Wolowitz: They're called tattoo sleeves. I bought them online. Raj got a set too. Put them on, have sex with some freaky girl with her business pierced and I can take them off and still be buried in a Jewish cemetery

 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
Penny: I give up, he's impossible
Sheldon: I can't be impossible, I exist. I believe what you meant to say is, "I give up, he's improbable."
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Penny: I'll tell you what, next french toast day, I'll make you oatmeal
Sheldon: Good lord, are you still gonna be here next french toast day?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Penny [after seeing Wolowitz in his goth outfit]: Oh man, did the KISS Army repeal "Don't Ask, Don't Tell?"
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Season 3 Episode 2: "The Jiminy Conjecture"

Raj: I don't like bugs, okay? They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Raj: What happened?
Sheldon: Obviously another carnal fiasco with the 'Shiksee' goddess.
Howard: Shiksa. Shik-Sa.
Sheldon: Forgive me. Yiddish was not spoken in East Texas. And if it was, it wasn't spoken for long.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Leonard: Why would you buy peppermint schnapps?
Penny: Because I like peppermint, and it's fun to say schnapps!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Wolowitz: Sex is never the way I dreamed it was going to be.
Raj: Because in your dreams, you're a horse from the waist down.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Sheldon: Howard, you know me to be a very smart man. Don't you think that if I were wrong, I'd know it?
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0
Wolowitz: you're missing the point, a Shiksa goddess is not an actual goddess, we prey on them, not to them
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 3 Episode 1: "The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation"

Leonard: Will you take that stupid red hat off?
Wolowitz: No, I want to blend in
Raj: To what? Toy story?
 • Rating: Unrated
Leonard: I don't want to go to Texas
Wolowitz: Alright and I do? My people already crossed the desert once. We're done

 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Wolowitz [about his mustache]: I call it the Clooney
Raj: I call it the Mario and Luigi, but whatever
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0
Penny: You know, I do understand what you're going through.
Sheldon: Really? Did you just have the Nobel Prize in Waitressing stolen from you?
 • Rating: 2.5 / 5.0

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Season: 6 5 4 3 2 1
Total Season 3 Quotes: 183
Total The Big Bang Theory Quotes: 1245
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