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The-big-bang-theory

(To a box of expensive shoes she's about to take back)
Penny: I'm sorry, shoes, but you have to go back.
Shoebox (Penny): But, Penny, we love you.
Penny: I love you, too, but you cost more than my rent.
Shoebox (Penny): But Penny, you look so good in us.
Penny: (To Amy) Damn it, the shoes are right!

Priya: They dressed up in leotards and goggles and called themselves the New Delhi Power Rangers.
Penny: How old were they?
Priya: Not as old as you'd want them to be.

Howard's mother had a heart attack because I have sex with him and she can't!

Bernadette

Whereas Jewish mothers take a casual la-dee-dah approach to their sons.

Wolowitz

You brought a Catholic girl home to you mother? Why don't I write you a prescription for Xanax.

Doctor

Leonard: Does your family have a history of heart disease?
Wolowitz: My family is the history of heart disease. There's a cave painting in France of one of my ancestors doing this. [mimicks heart attack]

Sheldon: Do you know where the phrase jibber jabber comes from?
Penny: Oh my god, you're about to jibber jabber about "jibber jabber?"

Have you told your parents you're dating this short glass of skim milk?

Wolowitz

Leonard: Beekeeper to King 12. I capture your pope and release the swarm. Checkmate on Sheldon.
Sheldon: I knew I should've given my pope the jet pack.

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