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The-big-bang-theory

I gotta run...[stops] but not with scissors, that would be unsafe.

Sheldon

Amy: What about Supercuts?
Sheldon: I tried it once; they cut men and women hair at the same time in the same room. It's like Sodom and Gomorrah with mousse.

Penny: I use to cut my brother's hair. I could do it for you
Sheldon: I know you mean well, offering the skills of the hill folk, but here in town we don't churn our own butter, we don't make dresses from gunny sacks, and sure-as-shootin don't get our hair cut by bottle blon..
Leonard: Sheldon be nice!

To paraphrase T.S. Elliot, this is how the world ends, not with a bang but with a nephew.

Sheldon

Amy: I'll let you in on a little secret. Originally, we were painted nude. But I had him add clothes cause I thought it was an unnecessary challenge to our heterosexuality.
Penny: Yeah, good call.
Amy: But, if you ever change your mind, all it would take is some warm, soapy water and a couple of sponges.
Penny: You're talking about the painting, right?
Amy: Sure.

I'm trying to raise the temperature in here before my nipples tear through my shirt.

Sheldon

Amy: Goodnight, Painting Penny. Goodnight, Real Penny.
Penny: Goodnight, Real Amy.
Amy: You don't have to say goodnight to Painting Amy, because she's never leaving. Bernadette: Goodnight, Real Penny. Goodnight, Transvestite Penny.

Leonard: It's going to be difficult to find something you are both equally good at.
Raj: Is there anything you are both equally bad at?
Sheldon and Kripke: Sports.

Penny: It's kind of heavy
Bernadette: Too bad you're not as strong as the dude in the painting.

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