The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSThe Big Bang Theory Season 5 Quotes
Bernadette: Doesn't he know you have a boyfriend?
Penny: Oh, she doesn't have a boyfriend; she has a Sheldon.
Amy, little vixen. Just working it under all those layers of wool and polyester.
Penny
I'm too small for Twister. And, roller coasters. And sitting with my feet on the floor. Hope you enjoyed the prenatal cigarettes, Mom.
Bernadette
I'll ring it up. It's like shooting nerds in a barrel.
Stuart
Howard: You interested in Amy?
Stuart: Well, I mean she didn't look through me with soul-sucking ball-shriveling hatred and contempt. I like that in a woman.
Stuart: Can I help you find anything?
Amy: A comic that doesn't depict a woman whose bosom can't be used as a flotation device.
Howard: It's amazing people keep coming to comic book stores instead of just downloading comics digitally.
Leonard: It's probably for the best. For a lot of these guys, the weekly trip here is the only chance their mom has to go down to the basement to change their sheets.
Howard: Oh, that reminds me, I get fresh sheets tonight. Yay!
Mine was great. I'm going to be a mommy.
Sheldon
I am such an asthmatic dumbass.
Leonard
Get back here, you stupid bird, so I can love you!
Sheldon
If you're keeping him, I've got a cage you can borrow. One of the test monkeys slipped on a banana peel and broke his neck. It was both tragic and hysterical.
Amy
Trust me, if I had a death ray, I wouldn't be living here. I'd be in my lair enjoying the money the people of Earth gave me for not using my death ray.
Sheldon
