The Big Bang Theory Season 5 Quotes
Howard: Tell her I'm really sorry. And if she doesn't want to marry me, I get it. But what I really want her to know is the guy that she is really disgusted by is the guy that I'm disgusted by, too. But, that guy doesn't exist anymore; he's gone. And the reason is because of her. So, if this relationship is over, let her know that she made me a better man, and tell her thank you.
Penny: Oh my god, Howard! That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. And it came out of you.
- Permalink: Tell her I'm really sorry. And if she doesn't want to marry me, ...
Seriously, you don't even have to stop the car. Anything under ten miles an hour and I can combat roll into the street.Raj
- Permalink: Seriously, you don't even have to stop the car. Anything under t...
You lied to me. You said you told me about all the girls you've been with, but you never mentioned your cousin, the prostitute or Raj!Bernadette
- Permalink: You lied to me. You said you told me about all the girls you've ...
Raj: You know, we're not that far from my apartment. If you stop the car, I could walk from here.
Bernadette: You ain't goin' anywhere, Threeway.
- Permalink: You know, we're not that far from my apartment. If you stop the ...
Raj: Oh, oh, what about the tubby girl in the Sailor Moon costume at Comic-Con?
Howard: Don't remember. Please sit down.
Raj: The only threesome I've ever had in my whole life and I'm proud to say it was with this man right here.
Raj: Oh, oh, don't get me wrong, nothing happened with me and Howard. There was about 200 lbs of Sailor Moon between us.
Wil [recording on his phone]: Oh, Internet, this is so going all over you.
Sheldon: Jeepers, I'm drunk.
- Permalink: Oh, oh, what about the tubby girl in the Sailor Moon costume at ...
Ooh! This grasshopper is kicking my ass-hopper.Raj
- Permalink: Ooh! This grasshopper is kicking my ass-hopper.
Bernadette: I've actually been thinking I'm going to hyphenate: Bernadette Maryann Rostenkowski-Wolowitz.
Penny: Nice. You know, you should totally get Bernadette Maryann Rostenkowksi-Wolowitz.com before someone snaps it up.
Bernadette: Howard already took are of it. Plus he set up our beautiful wedding website with cute little facts about our family histories. Do you know for a while, in Poland, my family and his family were neighbors.
Penny: Aww, that's cool.
Amy: No, it's not. I'll explain it to you later.
- Permalink: Bernadette Maryann Rostenkowski-Wolowitz. Nice. You know, you ...
Jeepers! That's yucky.Sheldon (drinking whiskey)
- Permalink: Jeepers! That's yucky.
Penny: Why should I worry?
Leonard: Well, I don't know. It's a bachelor party, there could be strippers. Wouldn't that make you a little jealous?
Penny: Come on, Leonard, it's you. What's gonna happen? I mean, even if there was a stripper, all you'd do is avoid eye- contact and offer to help her kid with his homework.
- Permalink: Why should I worry? Well, I don't know. It's a bachelor party,...
You don't want strippers? You're the king of strippers. That one club in North Hollywood named a pole after you.Raj
- Permalink: You don't want strippers? You're the king of strippers. That one...
Stephen Hawking: You made an arithmetic mistake on page two. It was quite a boner.
Sheldon: No, no ... that can't be right. I-I don't make arithmetic mistakes.
Stephen Hawking: Are you saying I do?
Sheldon: Oh, no, no, no, of course not. It's just, I was thinking.... Oh, gosh, golly, I made a boo-boo and I gave it to Stephen Hawking.
Stephen Hawking: Great, another fainter.
- Permalink: You made an arithmetic mistake on page two. It was quite a boner...
Sheldon: Professor Hawking, it's an honor and a privilege to meet you, sir.
Stephen Hawking: I know.
- Permalink: Professor Hawking, it's an honor and a privilege to meet you, si...
You can't blame yourself. When your prefrontal cortex fails to make you happy promiscuity rewards you with the needed flood of dopamine. We, neurobiologists, refer to this as the skank reflex.Amy
- Permalink: You can't blame yourself. When your prefrontal cortex fails to m...
I feel like two totally different people. Dr. Jekyyl and Mrs. Whore.Penny
- Permalink: I feel like two totally different people. Dr. Jekyyl and Mrs. Wh...