The Big Bang Theory

The Big Bang Theory Season 5 Quotes (Page 3)

Season 5 Episode 21: "The Hawking Excitation"

Sheldon: You don't think I'm condescending, do you?
Penny: Well....
Sheldon: Oh, I'm sorry. Condescending means....
Penny: I know what it means. And yes, you like to correcting people and putting them down.
Sheldon: Au Contraire. When I correct people I am raising them up. You should know, I do it for you more than anyone.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Penny: I know, he's the wheelchair dude who invented time.
Sheldon: That's close enough.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Sheldon [in a French maid costume]: What are you all staring at? You ever seen a man try to get a meeting with Stephen Hawking before?"
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Sheldon: You make sissy on your belt buckles? Mee-Maw's forks never had that.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Sheldon: That's a lot of belt buckles.
Howard: Funny thing is, I only have one belt.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Howard: Let me try gangsta: Hells naw.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leonard: Raj, you're our group historian. Has Sheldon ever begged before?
Raj: Three times. He begged the Fox network not to cancel 'Firefly.' He begged the TNT network to cancel 'Babylon 5.' And when he got food poisoning at the Rose Bowl Parade, he begged a deity he doesn't believe in to end his life quickly.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Howard: Sheldon, you are a condesending jerk. Why on earth would I want to do something nice for you?
Sheldon: Um ... to go to Jewish heaven?
Howard: Jews don't have heaven.
Sheldon: Then to avoid Jewish hell?
Howard: Have you met my mother? I live in Jewish hell.
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Sheldon: Howard, you go ahead and eat. This isn't going to make any sense to you.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leonard: That's amazing. You'll be like his pit crew.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Howard: So, I got the craziest email this morning.
Raj: I hate to burst your bubble, dude, but those penile enlargement pills do not work.
Howard: Believe me I know.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 5 Episode 20: "The Transporter Malfunction"

Raj: Let's go see if you fit in my man purse.
Bernadette: Heterosexual, my ass.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Raj: Oh, my goodness. Aren't you the cutest little Yorkie ever! You got him for me?
Howard: Her. We thought you two would hit it off.
Raj: I think we already have.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Penny: What is the truth?
Sheldon: My Mr. Spock doll came to me in a dream and forced me to open it. And when the toy broke I switched it for yours. Later, he encouraged me to do the right thing and I defied him. And then I was attacked by a Gorn.
Leonard: Okay, that I believe.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Raj: And, once again, my baloney likes girls.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Raj: With women! I like to boogie with women!
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Lakshmi: I'm gay.
Raj: Like dude-on-dude but with women?
 • Rating: 2.5 / 5.0

Spock: What is the purpose of a toy?
Sheldon: To be played with.
Spock: Therefore to not play with it would be...?
Sheldon: Illogical. Damn it, Spock, you're right.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leonard: Once you open the box, it loses it's value.
Penny: Yeah, yeah. My mom gave me the same lecture about my virginity. I gotta tell you, it was a lot more fun taking it out and playing with it.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Leonard: You went to the comic book store by yourself?
Penny: Yeah. It was fun. I walked in and two different guys got asthma attacks. Felt pretty good.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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