Doesn't this guy have a face you just want to punch?

Pete

Gun or no gun, jury's gonna love Joe Suburbs.

Nick

That girl will screw you every which way she can.

Nick

Stand up. Be a man and tell the truth. Just tell the damn truth!

Pete

Nick: I'll be "Meredith" and you be "you."
Pete: You're Meredith?
Nick: Yeah.
Pete: Yeesh, what the hell happened to your figure?
Nick: I stopped doing Yoga.

He's a Mr. Know-It-All. He's a hot head. He's a pain in the ass!

Nick

Zoe: He's cute.
Pete: Yeah, he's a damn liar.
Zoe: The cute one's always are.

Pete: No bail for you. Murders, rapists, child molesters, and casino dead beats: no bail.

Pete: You're a big dude, Nick. A lot of girls love big guys.
Nick: Yeah, big girls!

Pete: A thinner Nick is an angry Nick.
Nick: I am not angry!
Pete: You're hungry. Go eat something!

Pete: You're a good man, Nicky. If I ever need a lawyer, I'm calling you.
Nick: If? How about you pay me for the last time you needed a lawyer. Pay your bills Kaczmarek!

Stop having your wife followed or I'll file a restraining order myself.

Pete