Nick: Pete, calm down. You got to look at the positive side of this: Zoe could be your new mom.

Pete: She's going on a date with my dad!
Zoe: Pete, it's just a drink. God, you have a dirty mind.
Pete: Yes, I have a dirty mind. I got it from my dad!

Lisa: Teddy, do you think this all is just revenge. Like she's trying to have you arrested just for breaking it off?
Nick: Women. Some women. Not all women. Cheers, Teddy.

Nick: Pete, he's my pal. Teddy's my pal. I like the guy.
Pete: Sure you like him. Everybody likes him. He's the kinda guy who buys you Cuban Cigars, but here's the thing Nick. He can't afford Cuban Cigars. So if he bought you Cuban Cigars, he did it with my money. Which, technically, makes me your pal. Not him.

Bear? What, did you hug Coach Ditka after he puked on himself?


Tommy! Welcome to the lions den. I gotta hand it to you. I have a newfound respect for you. I would be freaking out if I knew that Nick was trying to sleep with my sister. What? I would be.


Do not confuse my legal arguments with what I believe in. I have one purpose and that's keeping your grandson out of prison. That's the problems with you idealists. All you care about are your ideals. You ignore the people who are right in front of you. I care about Cody. Everything else is meaningless.


Your honor, Otis is a bear. Otis is an orphan. His mother was shot to death by hunters.


Hooking up with Cole's sister? I mean what are you going to do, sit next to him for Thanksgiving dinner? "Hey Tommy, pass the yams."

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