Mondays 9:00 PM on A&E

Michael: Like you not buying a condo that I'm not going to live in.
Joan: Ok. Fine. Yeah, I won't condo that you're not going to live in.
Michael: Really? Ok, fine. You serve.
Callie: What just happened?
Jim: I think my dad just retired.

Jim: Hey Tony. Thanks for meeting me.
Tony: No problem, what do you have for me?
Jim: Oh, I thought you had something for me. You know cause of the look.
Tony: I gave you a look? You gave me a look.
Jim: After you gave me a look.
Tony: It wasn't a look, it was just my face.

Carlos: Plastic curtain suggests she was in the shower.
Jim: And the shower curtain suggests all our evidence has gone down the drain.

Jim: Hey you know what I realize these last 2 weeks since Jeff has been away? That kid of yours has way too many chores.
Callie: Don't worry you can split it with him after we're married.
Jim: Chores does build character.

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