Eli: I need a quote from you for Peter's bio.
Alicia: Do you need it to be true?
Eli: True adjacent.

Cary: And I've heard you more than once joke about the pole stuck up Diane's ass.
Diane: Excuse me?

In order to sue somebody you'd have to know how.

Cary

You do zero, Howard. You sit around with your pants down, literally!

Cary

Suddenly there's a palace guard wearing a pants suit and cheap shoes.

Jackie

Reese Dipple's the reason you're not at the firm. You sway Peter on this bill and Dipple will sprinkle rose petals as you step off the elevator.

Cary

Prosecutor: It's semantics.
Judge Schakowsky: No, it's the law. You know the difference? I get a gavel.

Someone had a good nap.

Cary

Don't worry, dear, most babies are unattractive.

Jackie

Cary: How are things in the bar attorney trenches?
Alicia: Same as there only without the fees, resources or muffins.

There is a mutiny brewing below deck and we are going to start losing good, young associates because of him.

Cary

I think you try to move me out and I'll cut your balls off.

Howard

Good Wife Quotes

Life...sucks.

Eli

You're pouting. It's unbecoming.

Diane