You date pregnant hookers and your dinosaur eats grass.

Rigsby

Kimball: Look, a goat. Goats are signs of Satan.
Teresa: So petting zoos are, like, gateways to hell?
Kimball: Pretty much.

Lisbon: Look, we have a serious problem.
Jane: Yeah, I was really looking forward to a muffin.

Abbott: He stood in my office, looked me in the eye and lied to me and I bought it.
Cho: Don't feel bad. Jane could sell cats to mice.

Fischer: You ever wonder what Jane thinks about it?
Cho: Never.
Fischer: Really, why not?
Cho: My brain would explode.

Mrs. Elkins: How can you be so cold?
Patrick: Practice.

Oh, I like it when you get all authoritarian on me.

Jane

Lisbon: You look a little creaky.
Jane: Yeah, a cattle prod will do it to you.
Lisbon: Well, the doctor says there's no lasting effects.
Jane: Well that doctor should try it himself sometime.

You've been LaRoched haven't you?

Jane

Lisbon: Are you leaving the CBI?
Jane: No, of course not. What would I do for amusement?

I only wonder why the two of you didn't become life long friends the moment you shook hands.

Lorelei

Aren't we all part of the Justice League? Do you think Aquaman would give Batman a ticket?

Jane

The Mentalist Quotes

Did you know that habitual mockery is a strong indicator of depression?

Dr. Montague

Keep breathing. You'll be fine.

Cho