The Mentalist

Sundays 10:00 PM on CBS
The mentalist
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Mr. Wolcutt: I can make one phone call and your career is toast.
Cho: (decidedly unimpressed) That's impressive. The best I can get with one call is a pizza.

AP: (talking about the painting) $50,000,000, right there.
Patrick: It's about $10,000 right there. It's a fake.
AP: The hell it is.
Patrick: Fake as a $6 bill.

Arlov: Are you mad?
Patrick: No, just kidding. It's just a prop to get me into the room. I am aware that you have the real painting.
Arlov: Really? You are aware, and how are you aware of this?
Patrick: I guessed. Confirmed by the predatory smile on your face when you asked me about it just then. You enjoy trapping people in nets of their own making, don't you?

(to Arlov) Most successful criminal bosses show a similar profile. Sadistic, violent, but also highly methodical, they're psychologically astute.

Patrick

Horrible job you found for yourself, Kathryn. Helping a greedy egotist snatch up beautiful things he has no ability to appreciate.

Patrick

Tamzin Dove: If a friend of mine had done this, they wouldn't have pointed the police right to me with a pentacle and flame. No, Cody's murder was staged to look like wicca. Any fool in this town would think of it. It's obvious misdirection. There's a witch in town. Duh.
Patrick: A witch that put a killing spell on the boy in question.
Tamzin Doe: Exactly. It's perfect.

Kimball: Look, a goat. Goats are signs of Satan.
Teresa: So petting zoos are, like, gateways to hell?
Kimball: Pretty much.

(while talking to Cody's parents) I have a question. It's always bothered me. Why do they call it football? People don't really use their feet much, do they?

Patrick

Rigsby: What is this?
Van Pelt: That is healthy and nutritious snacking.
Rigsby: I'm gonna die.

(To Grace on the phone) Things are getting weird, we're off to see a witch.

Teresa

Mrs. Elkins: How can you be so cold?
Patrick: Practice.

Jared Renfrew: Red John is the friend of a friend of mine.
Patrick Jane: What is this friend's name?
Jared Renfrew: His name is get me out of here and I'll tell you that and much more. I'll sing like a bird.

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 54 in total

The Mentalist Season 1 Quotes

Grace Van Pelt: Mr. Jane, I have a question regarding your previous career path.
Patrick Jane: Fire away.
Grace Van Pelt: When you met with other psychics, real psychics, could they tell you were just pretending?
Patrick Jane: There's no such thing as real psychics.

Greetings old friend, it's been a while. I hope you are keeping well. I am thriving and happy. I have 12 wives now and will soon begin courting number 13. Why can't you catch me? You must feel so powerless and stupid and sad. Oh well. All the best. Red John.

Grace Van Pelt
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