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Kimball: Look, a goat. Goats are signs of Satan.
Teresa: So petting zoos are, like, gateways to hell?
Kimball: Pretty much.

(while talking to Cody's parents) I have a question. It's always bothered me. Why do they call it football? People don't really use their feet much, do they?


Rigsby: What is this?
Van Pelt: That is healthy and nutritious snacking.
Rigsby: I'm gonna die.

(To Grace on the phone) Things are getting weird, we're off to see a witch.


Mrs. Elkins: How can you be so cold?
Patrick: Practice.

Jared Renfrew: Red John is the friend of a friend of mine.
Patrick Jane: What is this friend's name?
Jared Renfrew: His name is get me out of here and I'll tell you that and much more. I'll sing like a bird.

Patrick: Let's keep it casual to start with Sophie. Let her relax. If she gets her guard up, we'll get nothing from her.
Teresa: You're very combative all of a sudden.
Patrick: Yeah, if she is guilty, she lied to me and I believed it. She fooled me.
Teresa: The ultimate sin.
Patrick: Yes it is.

Teresa: We have agents at your house right now with a search warrant.
Chancellor Stern: Inadmissible.
Teresa: Yes. I'd hate to be a State's Attorney. Jane's always pulling crap like this on them but they always win.

Teresa: Aw. Jane kissed a girl.
Patrick: What? Yeah on the cheek.
Teresa: Still counts.

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