Michael: Why do I feel like crap?
Jim: You just had a rebound.
Michael: I had a rebound.
Jim: Yeah. Which, don't get me wrong, can be a really fun distraction, but when it's over... you're left thinking about the girl you really like. The one that broke your heart.

Angela: Meredith, if you do not come to my party, you will be very, very sorry.
Meredith: Is that a threat?
Angela: No, it's an invitation.
Pam: We have vodka.
Karen: Yes. Lots of it.

I hear Angela's party will have double fudge brownies. But it will also have Angela.

Kevin

I don't back down. My sister and I used to be best friends. And we haven't spoken in sixteen years, over some disagreement I don't even remember. So, yeah, I'm pretty good.

Angela

Bros before hoes. Why? Because your bros are always there for you. They got your back after your ho rips your heart out for no good reason. And you were nothing but great to your ho, and you told her that she was the only ho for you. And that she was better than all the other hoes in the world. And then suddenly... she's not yo' ho no mo'.

Michael

Michael: I need my entourage. Jim, Dwight, Ryan, c'mon - we're going to Asian Hooters.
Ryan: I'm not feeling so well. I've got a ton of work to do here. MSG allergy, peanut allergy, I just ate there last night.
Michael: Alright, feel better.
Jim: Wow, thanks for taking all the excuses, dude.
Ryan: Doctor appointment, car trouble, plantar warts, granddad fought in World War II. Use your head, man. Look alive, Halpert.

Dwight: Pam and Karen! I am ordering you to cease and desist all party planning immediately.
Pam: You can't do that.
Dwight: As ranking number 3 in this office, I am ordering you to-
Andy: Ummm, I'm number 3.
Dwight: You're number 4.
Andy: Yeah, but I'm number 3.
Dwight: Uh, no.

I miss the days when there was only one party I didn't want to go to.

Ryan

Karen: Uh, so I had a couple of ideas to make the Stamford people feel more at home. Each year we have a Christmas raffle...
Angela: It would never work here.
Karen: Okay...um, another idea was karaoke...
Angela: No.
Karen: A Christmas drinking game...
Meredith: YES.
Angela: God help you!

Michael: I'd like everybody's attention. Christmas is cancelled.
Stanley: You can't cancel a holiday.
Michael: Keep it up Stanley and you'll lose New Year's.
Stanley: What's that mean?
Michael: Jim, take New Year's away from Stanley.

It's a bold move to Photoshop yourself into a picture with your girlfriend and her kids on a ski trip with their real father. But then again, Michael's a bold guy. [pause] Is bold the right word?

Jim

Michael: Hey! I would like a nice slice of Christmas Pam. Side of candy Pams. And perhaps some Pam chops. With mint...
Pam: Can I help you, Michael?

The Office Season 3 Episode 10 Quotes

Michael: Hey! I would like a nice slice of Christmas Pam. Side of candy Pams. And perhaps some Pam chops. With mint...
Pam: Can I help you, Michael?

Dwight: He was already dead, and we Schrutes use every part of the goose. The meat has a delicious smoky rich flavor. Plus, you can use the molten goose grease and save it in the refrigerator, thus saving you a trip to the store for a can of expensive goose grease.
Jim: Wow. Win-win.